Eating disorders are real and for some they can begin at the young age of just nine years old. Eating disorders are not just a physical issue, in fact the Canadian Mental Health Association defines an eating disorder as, “a group of mental illnesses that affect the way you feel about food and the way you feel about your body and yourself.” The three most common are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating.
But I’m not here to regurgitate the facts. Everyone has a story but too often than not we are consumed in our own world instead of taking a step back and appreciating the hardship and the beauty in the tales of others.
I want to tell you about two real people–people just like you and me.
Meet Ian and Andrea.
Ian is the Founder and President of the new Western Eating Disorder Awareness Club and Andrea is amongst the few to join the new campus group.
I met with both of them and I was overwhelmed by their willingness to share, their radiant positive attitudes and passion to help others. Below are just a few of the questions I asked them.
The answers are worth reading…
Ian, what made you decide to start the club?
“When I was in high school I, myself struggled with an eating disorder and it put a tremendous amount of pressure on my family and friends. The disorder changed the way I viewed life and the way I felt about myself. I started to realize how negative my life was becoming. By the end of grade 11 my disorder started to significantly affect my siblings (who I realized had nothing to do with this) so, I then committed myself to getting well, and entered the Sudbury Regional Eating Disorder Program on an outpatient basis. I spent quite a lot of time working with a dietician and with a family therapist. After a year of this treatment I thankfully became almost completely symptom free! I was incredibly grateful for a new, free approach to life. When I came to Western I found many friends struggling with these issues and not being able to speak to anyone. There was no formal system or resource made available and as a result a lot of them were left feeling ashamed of their thoughts. Because I understood how difficult living with an eating disorder can be I decided to start this club to help reduce the stigma of eating disorders, and create an environment where people can feel accepted and strive towards healing.
The main goal of the WEDA club is to support students with eating disorders. We do this through awareness, education, positive-safe environments, and resources to help support individuals and their social groups in overcoming disorders.”
Andrea, eating disorders can start at any age, for Ian it was late high school. How old were you when you first started to feel self-conscious about your body?
“I began to feel self-conscious of my body around Grade 9; before then I never once thought about weight or the way I looked. I was always a ‘chubby’ kid growing up, but it wasn’t until high school that I started to look around and notice that things were a little different between me and the other girls. I occasionally got a fat joke from one high school idiot or another. I also remember feeling self-conscious whenever I had to borrow clothes from friends because they always had to find the biggest thing they had. There wasn’t just one particular moment where these feelings led to a dangerous spiral…it was very gradual. I actually had the mindset that this is how I was always going to look and it wasn’t until my boyfriend I had been dating since grade 12 broke up with me in my first year of university that things got unhealthy. He told me that “I wasn’t physically what he wanted anymore,” and that I should understand his desire to want to hookup with girls who had better bodies than me. That was the turning point for me.”
Ian, what is the biggest misconception about eating disorders?
“I think the biggest misconception about eating disorders is that it is something that is done for attention, or is faked and controlled. This may be the case some of the time, but then it is not a true eating disorder. I often think of my disorder a lot like an addiction. It started out harmlessly, and then snowballed into something that had a huge effect on my life. When someone gets to the point where they realize that they may have this addiction, it’s often too late to “just stop” and they are often stuck in a self-perpetuating cycle where they rely on their eating disorder for comfort, or to feel in control, or to feel good about themselves, but this is short lived and in turn accomplishes the opposite goal, creating the need to turn back to the eating disorder again. It can be a vicious cycle, and when someone tells you “well just eat less/more” it’s hard to explain that it’s not that simple. That really it’s not just an eating problem, but an emotional, social, and cognitive battle.”
Ian, what do you think people battling with an eating disorder need most from their peers?
“There isn’t a simple answer: everyone with an eating disorder has different needs. Everyone has a different story and it’s very much circumstantial and varies person to person. The only way to be attuned to these needs is to be accepting and allow your peers to communicate with you and not feel judged. If they can do that, than they will be able to express what they feel they need most. Now this should always be done within reason, as some people with eating disorders may be caught up in irrational and dangerous thinking patterns, but even in these situations it is of paramount importance to influence them in a caring manner and to honestly just be their friend; no conditions, no expectations, no agenda.”
Andrea, what resources did you take advantage of to help cope with your eating disorder?
“Exercise, as ironic as it sounds (as for many people, this is a trigger), saved me. I began to find solace at the gym because I told myself every time I went that I was bettering myself. I set goals for myself, like to get my personal trainer license and to audition for some fashion shows at school. I began to eat healthy, which at first was difficult because I would be very hard on myself if I ate ‘too much’ or ‘too junky.’ Over time, eating healthy and working out became a lifestyle, and to this day is still something close to me and that I very much enjoy doing. I was someone who was lucky enough to kill this eating disorder on my own. The only person I have ever told in my life about it is my current boyfriend and he is the greatest resource to help me stay positive–besides myself. Your support system is everything and everyone deserves to have an accepting, trusting, and loving one.”
Ian, it can be very difficult to avoid comparing ourselves to others. What advice can you give to others to help cope with this?
“I think the biggest thing when it comes to comparing yourself to others is realizing that often the comparison can be true (and sometimes they couldn’t be farther from the truth). People compare themselves to each other all the time and I think it is next to impossible to completely stop. When you make the comparison it comes down to challenging yourself and realizing that you have important traits that make you valuable to people all around you. It doesn’t matter whether you look as good as that person, or whether you are maybe not as smart as that person. What matters is that they’re them, and you’re you, and you have things about you that make you valuable and that make you important. It’s important to realize negative thoughts and say “…but you know what, I have lots of important things that make me myself, and those are valuable and worth thinking about.” It’s important to realize negative thoughts for what they are, and if they are accurate then to work towards solving those problems in a healthy way, but if they aren’t 100% true then to challenge those thoughts. Catastrophic thinking is something that is hard to control, but when you can have that conversation with yourself and tease out the real truth in your thoughts, then you’re able to recognize how valuable and important you really are.”
Andrea, if you could go back and tell your younger self something what would it be?
“I know exactly what I would tell my younger self before any of this mess spiraled out of control: “stop being so obsessed with what other people think about you, especially boys!” People are going to be rude and people are going to have different opinions, but you have to put yourself and your positive thoughts first before anyone else’s. That may sound cliché, but it really is such an important thing to understand. I cared only what other people thought about myself, and never once realized that I had an immense amount of family and friends who loved me regardless of how much I weighed. Understand that change is a gradual occurrence, and cherish the moments when people begin to notice your positive changes, but NEVER make your journey about other people’s approval.”
The Western Eating Disorder Awareness Club is hosting a Media Literacy Workshop event this Monday November 23, 2015 on campus to promote healthy body image. Check out the event page for more information and be sure to check out the Western Eating Disorder booth in the UCC on December 2 and 3 for more information.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection.” – Buddha