Coming from a religious family despite not being religious myself, I attended Catholic school from kindergarten through grade 12. The sex ‘education’ I received was frustrating at best and endangering at worst.
My experiences are not universal, but here are some personal anecdotes from my time in Catholic school sex ed.
In grade 10 physical activity (mandatory for all students), we received formal sex education. I learned all about the infections and diseases that can come from sex. I learned the stages of pregnancy and the anatomy of a person’s junk. As for preventative measures? “The safest way of all is not to do it!”
Ok, yeah, but what if… now stick with me… hormonal teens… want… to have sex… and they actually do it? Please don’t tell me some bullshit about how they’re too young, uninterested, etc.—we had six teen pregnancies while I was there. And no one claimed to be the Virgin Mary.
We only discussed condoms and female birth control pills very briefly. I did not learn how to put a condom on or how to choose which ones to buy. I did not know female condoms existed. I did not learn how to be safe with anyone who didn’t have a penis. I did not have a good understanding of consent. These are all fundamental to a comprehensive sex education. Intentionally avoiding these topics under the guise of, “If we tell them not to have sex, we don’t need to,” is a cop-out. People have sex. Act like it!
In grade 11 religion class (also mandatory), silent reading consisted of aggressively abstinence-positive magazines. Every day, a horde of impressionable sixteen year old girls were told that when they give away their ‘flower’ before marriage, the ‘flower’ becomes less beautiful. Apparently, men will stomp on what gives you value as a woman and then reject you because it’s wilted on the ground. Your flower will never regrow, but the good news is that you can pray to God for forgiveness and for a man that will marry you despite it.
This is some of the most subversive slut shaming and anti-feminist trash I have ever been subjected to. Friendly reminders: 1. Virginity is a social construct and has nothing to do with your value as a human. 2. Abstinence is your choice, and your choice only, so do it based on your values and on your terms—not those of your educational institution. 3. Men are irrelevant, but have some faith in them! Marriage and the notches on your headboard are completely unrelated. Decent humans don’t care about your ‘number,’ men included.
Your worth, your value and your sexuality belong to you and you only. Sex has no implications on your life other than what’s dictated by you.
Catholic school sex education was by far the most heteronormative, sex demonizing and uninformative ‘educational’ experience of my adolescent life. If a teen’s only resource for sexual health information was my high school, they’d be in huge trouble. Luckily, we have an increasingly sex positive society, internet resources, and friends who help fill in the blanks, but the Catholic curriculum still needs to pick up the slack, and for the love of God, get realistic.
Related articles:
- How Casual Sex Changed My Body Image
- Why We Need To Talk About Female Masturbation and Sexual Pleasure
- From Bar to Bedroom: 11 Easy Steps To Get That Hookup Home
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