Throughout my 21 years of life, I have had many people come and go, come back and even leave again. Many of these people are those whom I have made memories with, and many are those who have made me cry. Thinking about all these people, I can now say that I never fully understood what it meant for someone to be important to me. I treated everyone I called my friend the same way, with love and care. I lost myself in friendships and in trying to force people to stay in my life. I blamed myself when people walked out. However, I never really let it affect the way I continued to let people in again and again. As I recently became of legal age to drink in America, I took some time to think about how my past experiences with people who have left or who have hurt me never affected my love for meeting new people and creating connections. My trust is still intact and my heart is just as big. The reason for this? The people in my life who have never once taken my love for granted, the people who allow me to believe that real friends exist and the people who show me that I am loved. These are the people who hold a special place in my heart.
My Platonic Soulmate
On the first day of high school, I was so nervous that I took the bus an hour earlier than I was supposed to. On this bus was a girl around my age and her mom. The girl had the biggest smile on her face as she talked about something, and I sat there and started to feel myself smile as well. I had no idea then that this person would become someone who felt like home to me. Walking arm in arm through the school hallways, gossiping about anyone and everyone and simply just waiting every morning to be able to hug her are some of my favourite memories to this day. Seeing her after months and running into each other’s arms is one of my favourite feelings. Would you believe me if I told you that whenever I am feeling down, I will get a text asking me what was wrong without even having to say anything? I thank the universe every day for letting me find my soulmate in my best friend.
To my platonic soulmate, no one does crazy better than us. Here’s to many more memories.
My Sisters
The two girls who do not share the same blood as me but have seen me grow from a quiet kid to a loud and opinionated adult are probably the ones who have stuck around the longest. Sleepovers and dance parties in a basement turned into late-night drives and clubbing. Talking about what we want to be when we grow up turned into serious conversations about the future and our fears. You hear one of our names, and the other two follow right after. I know if I am making dumb, drunk decisions, they are sitting right next to me doing the same thing. These girls and I have grown up together, and thinking about a future where they do not exist will never sit right with me.
To my sisters, I cannot wait to explore the world with you and make bad decisions about boys for the rest of our lives.
The Boys Who Are One of the Girls
Admitting that I do not take care of myself enough probably is a personal reminder that I should. However, the way that all of them take care of and look out for me always warms my heart to think about it. The ones who have always been there to confront my bullies. The ones who always call me out on things I probably should not be doing. The ones who hold back my hair when I drink too much. The ones who listen to all my problems for hours. The ones who remember all the little things. The ones who have stuck around through all the hard days and years. I remember everything, and I hold onto all of it. I am forever grateful, and even if I do not say it enough, I do love them all.
To the boys who are one of the girls, thank you for making me feel important and loving me even if I am crazy.
My Best Friend in New York
I say crazy things all the time, and people either laugh or wonder what on Earth is going through my head. One girl heard me say something crazy and instantly knew we were going to be best friends. This girl listens to every thought that comes out of my boy-crazy mouth and still sticks around. She grounds me when my anxiety gets the better of me, tells me that everything will be okay and makes me believe her. Even though I overthink and take a pessimistic view of a lot of things in life, she is the one who tries her hardest to make me look at the bright side. I do not have to tell her that I want her in my life for a very long time because she will just yell at me and tell me I am never getting rid of her.
To my best friend in New York, thank you for loving every part of me. I cannot wait to be Emily in Paris with you.
I always knew this, but recently, taking the time to think about it makes me feel like I have come a long way. There are so many people out there who hold a special place in my heart. The one who listens to me rant about every romance novel I have ever read. The ones who cheer me on, support me and believe I will achieve great things. The one who I do not talk to every day but who I know will always be there for me when I need her. The one who is always dancing by my side. The one who sits and cries with me. All these people are the reason I know it is okay to lose friends. They are the reason my heart is big and ever-loving.
This is to the people who hold a special place in my heart.