Get someone who treats you like Drake treats Toronto.
We all know that Drake is one of the more ~emotional~ rappers. Many of his songs are about love and heartbreak. Now, I might just be bitter about love (and too into Drake) but I’ve found that many Drake songs are so unrealistic when it comes to relationships and love. I’ve decided to poke fun at a few of Drake’s lyrics that I think are unrealistic regarding relationships and love.
“Call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my love”
If I’m not mistaken, these late night phone calls are called “booty calls” not “love”.
Song: “Hotline Bling”
“’Bout to call your a** an Uber, I got somewhere to be”
After that late night “love”, he probably won’t call you an Uber; you will have to pay for it by yourself, sorry.
Song: “Energy”
“Lying to protect you, I be doing that a lot”
Don’t lie!! Drake, didn’t you once rap about trust issues? Lying causes trust issues!
Song: “Child’s Play”
“I’d probably go and tattoo, your name on my heart”
Drake, you never even had her, you’re not even dating. Don’t. Tattoos of your S/O are never a good idea.
Song: “Houstatlantavegas”
“I realize I waited too long, but please don’t move on”
She was probably rebounding the week after it ended. Ain’t nobody got time to wait around.
Song: “Sooner Than Later”
“You could have my heart, or we could share it like the last slice”
Love isn’t sharing a heart, or that last slice. Love is you letting me have the last slice of pizza, even if you really want it.
Song: “Best I Ever Had”
“You’re supposed to put your pride aside and ride for me”
You can put aside YOUR pride, Drake. You have to be really special for me to put my pride aside for you.
Song: “Keep the Family Close”
As much as I poke fun, I’m really hoping Drake continues to come out with ~emotional~ music. Here’s to you, Drizzy.