There are two types of people in this world: those who hug when they meet someone for the first time, and those who don’t. I would definitely label myself as an unaffectionate person, and first impressions usually end up being completely misleading in showing people what I’m really like. Coming from a family who greets one another with hugs and kisses on the cheek, it seems to be very surprising.
It’s easy to accept that those who are unaffectionate are cold people, which then leads into assuming they don’t care, they’re rude or even standoffish. My personal favourite is when people think that an unaffectionate person can’t be sensitive, or they must do well with confrontation. If you asked me if I ate the last Oreo I’d probably start crying, even if it wasn’t me. But, when my friends are going through break-ups, I do treat them with comfort and care. We still feel things, and feel for other people, we just won’t physically express that.
PDA makes the unaffectionate extremely uncomfortable. Whether we are experiencing it, or we are observing it, there’s nothing that makes me feel more awkward than couples sitting on the same side of the table, holding hands and canoodling. Anything that many would find “romantic” or “cute” is something I want nothing to do with. Promposals? There’s nothing cheesier (someone had to say it). If someone were to serenade me I would run away, and I think that’s an appropriate response.
Which brings me to my next point; people believe an unaffectionate person can’t survive in a real relationship, or that they’re afraid of love. This is not the case whatsoever. Unaffectionate people aren’t monsters and they’re able to find someone if they choose to. Just because you claim to (not) see a couple being affectionate, doesn’t mean they’re really like that when it’s just the two of them. Lack of PDA doesn’t mean there’s no DA.
Unaffectionate people won’t physically show how they’re feeling when it comes time to providing love and comfort to others, but that doesn’t mean they can’t verbally express that. Sometimes our actions won’t speak louder than words, but that’s okay. We care, we’ll talk to you, but we just won’t hug you. Just because unaffectionate people don’t express their feelings in the particular ways you would, doesn’t mean that they don’t feel at all.