Finding Your Own Identity

Discovering who you are or who you can be sounds scary, but it’s crucial in growing and adapting as a person. When I was younger, I acted like everyone else because I wanted to fit in. By the time I reached 11^th grade, I realized I didn’t really know who I was — I just felt like this formation of everyone around me. Finding your own identity is a vast and personal task, so it’s not something I can tell you how to do. It takes time and self-reflection, and you may have to step out of your comfort zone to discover yourself. So here are some tasks that you can practice to independently discover yourself. 

Therapy 

I found that therapy was a great way to figure out what I liked and didn’t like, as well as discover why I am the way I am. You don’t need to participate in something as major as therapy to discover yourself, but it helps to talk to people about yourself (in a healthy, non-conceited way) to see things from a different perspective. Often times, I don’t realize things about myself or a situation I’m going through until I say my thoughts out loud, and then it’s like I answer my own question. Talking is good for the soul and can help you discover yourself.

Self-reflection 

Taking time to perform meditation, take long walks, or simply have a conversation with yourself is important to connect with yourself. We are with ourselves all day, every day, yet we spend so much time distracting ourselves from our thoughts or problems because it’s easier to do. I challenge you to take an afternoon spent with no technology — maybe just bring a book or a journal to a park, with no music — just yourself and this task of reflection. 

Spending time alone 

Similar to self-reflection, spending time alone is very important for mental health. You don’t have to be an introvert to enjoy spending time alone. Anyone can enjoy spending time alone, it may just seem scary sometimes because we’re afraid of being judged. However, taking yourself out on a date, or going to get food alone, may help you overcome some fears and give you some peace and quiet to organize your thoughts or feelings. 

Being open-minded

Often, the influences of others can alter or impact our perception of something that we like or dislike. Has there ever been something that you really liked, or thought was cool, but had your perception of it damaged after hearing someone else’s opinion? Probably. This is very common and can stop people from doing things they like just because it’s not considered “popular.” Staying open-minded and trying new things (regardless of their acceptance) is important in discovering what you like and finding yourself. 

Overcoming social anxiety 

I know this is much easier said than done. But honestly, stepping out of your comfort zone is crucial in learning more about yourself. You’ll discover what you like and maybe even what you don’t, and you’ll start to understand why you do the things you do. 

Again, this is not an easy task, so don’t be hard on yourself if you’re doing these things and not finding any improvements within yourself. It takes time and patience to feel comfortable with your own identity. Additionally, this process will look different for everyone. This is a personal achievement, so don’t compare yourself with others. Let this be your sign to take a couple of days to work on yourself. Hopefully, by the end, you’ll find yourself! 

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