Knowing when you should cut people out of your life is really hard. On the one hand, you don’t want to be that person, but on the other, they are clearly causing you some distress. Deciding that people are not meant to be in your life is not a decision to make with a heavy hand, but nonetheless it is sometimes a necessary one.
When you are having troubles with a friend or partner, the best thing to do is to bring up the issues. Sometimes this will lead to a good dialogue where you can solve whatever issue you are having. Other times, it will make you realize that this person is gaslighting and belittling you. There are certain problems where simply agreeing to disagree won’t work as a solution. In these instances, you should not hesitate to cut that person out from your life. They will only bring you down when you are attempting to better yourself and grow. Don’t allow another person to take away your light. If you find that you are having more negative experiences with this person rather than positives that is another good indicator that they should be removed from your inner circle. Even if you have been friends for five years, ten years, some people are meant to be temporary. Accept that they have taught you some good life lessons, helped you grow and move on.
Another way to know when you need to cut someone out is by looking at your boundaries. Setting boundaries for yourself as a person is very important. There are certain behaviours and actions that are not acceptable to you. They can trigger you, make you uncomfortable and cause you distress. If someone is repeatedly causing you these feelings, history holds weight in your decision. As mentioned earlier, a dialogue is always good to have but if they are unwilling to put in the work so that you are okay, they are better left out of your life. Likewise, if there is a certain thing a person has done, regardless if they have apologized, that has caused you trauma, you shouldn’t concern yourself with trying to forgive them. Forgiving such a person may only alleviate their conscious while you are left squandering. You never owe someone your forgiveness for doing you wrong or causing you harm. You only owe yourself the proper time you need to heal.
At the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you. If that means cutting someone out of your life, then so be it. You shouldn’t feel guilty for doing something that is necessary for yourself. Your mental health shouldn’t have to suffer for the sake of politeness.