I’ve always been a die-hard fan of making lists for what I needed to do or whatever came to mind. Whether it be for remembering what to buy on my next trip to the grocery store, writing in my daily to-do list or adding to my bucket list of all the places I want to travel to and the things I want to do in the future. Lists help me effortlessly organize my thoughts and information, and thankfully, help me remember things. Lists are also great because they can be as long or as short as necessary but can also go on for as long as you want.
I’ve always used lists for my personal use and always kept them private. I don’t plan to share my lists and wouldn’t exactly be happy if someone saw my lists either. That was until I tried using list-making apps with a significant other. And let me tell you, it was one of the best things we did for our relationship.
Too often, one of us would remind each other of something we needed to do, only for that reminder to be pushed up the text message thread and forgotten about, until we saw each other in person. That’s when we started writing everything down in our shared lists – from groceries, date night ideas, restaurants we wanted to try around town, movies we wanted to watch and so much more.
Sharing a list of to-do tasks also meant we were more likely to share household chores and responsibilities. It was helpful to have someone know what you needed, and if they had the time, they could help you get it. Realizing we needed paper towels at home was only half of the job, and even though I planned to pick some up the next time I went to the store, my partner saw it on our list and was able to pick some up on their way home. It’s about sharing responsibilities.
Beyond the practical and household items, making lists to share bucket lists, goals and interests also helped to improve our relationship. It’s always important to share ideas and make decisions together as a team.
Even with list-making apps, it’s important to recognize that not all aspects of a relationship can be addressed and included. However, the most noticeable improvement in our relationship was creating more quality time to talk about what we wanted. Before using any apps, we often found ourselves checking with each other about responsibilities and asking questions such as, “Did you remember to buy the paper towels?” as soon as we saw each other in concern of forgetting to ask later in the evening. I didn’t want every exchange of ours to feel like a discussion with a roommate to coordinate tasks.
Lists also helped us save time in our relationship. There was no longer a need to spend time deciding on what movie to watch together or what restaurant to eat from when we could choose from a long list of ideas.
If you feel like your relationship has become more like a married couple with conversations usually involving each other to help with tasks, please try a shared list-making app. I promise that if you both use it frequently and effectively, your communication with each other will improve significantly and give you more meaningful and quality time together.