We’ve all been in a situation in which we were put on the spot being asked on a date, for our phone number or for our socials. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, sometimes, our answer has to be no. This moment seems to happen so fast, giving us little time to process the question never mind come up with a nice rejection. A lot of the time, a messy response ends up being blurted out, making the situation seem pretty awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. Believe it or not, though, there are some responses that can remove the awkwardness from the situation and make everyone feel better overall.
1. Give a Simple and Direct Answer
“Thank you! I’m flattered, but I’m not interested/available.” Keeping it simple keeps the conversation minimal. In this case, your point is communicated efficiently and effectively. It’s also very easy for the other person to receive because they don’t have to sort out any kind of cryptic messages or try to understand why you’re saying no. This approach avoids a lot of unnecessary explaining and lets both parties move on from the topic in a respectful manner.
2. Don’t Feel the Need to Explain Yourself
A lot of the time when we reject someone, we feel some underlying sense of guilt (even though we shouldn’t). We assume that, because we could easily be hurting the other person’s feelings, we need to explain why we’re saying no. If we let the other party know why this is our decision, it’s easier on them, right? Although this may seem like a good idea, it usually isn’t. By dragging out your response, the other person is essentially listening to a long answer as to why they’re being rejected. By keeping it short, you’re not only saving yourself from a lot of awkward rambling, but you’re saving your wannabe suitor from a drawn-out nerve-wracking and uncomfortable situation.
3. Use “I” Statements
We’ve all heard that when we’re in an argument, it’s best to use “I” statements in order to refrain from putting all the fault on the person with whom we’re arguing. This technique just so happens to work when letting someone down, as well. Saying something like, “That’s really nice, but you’re just not my type” will probably make the other person feel like there’s something wrong with them. Instead, a better approach could be: “That’s really kind, but I just don’t feel any connection between us.” With this response, you’re keeping the ball in your court and making it clear that you’re making a decision based on your feelings. This makes you look like you know what you want and saves the other person from some hurt feelings.
4. Don’t Give False Hope
“I just have something going on right now” or “It’s just bad timing, I really like you though” are two ways you’re not only cheating your admirer but also yourself. These types of statements the other person hope, making them think that you still really like them, they just need to try again later. Even a simple “no” is better than making it seem like there’s still a chance when there’s not one. Getting straight to the point and avoiding the “fluff” is the best way to go in any situation.
5. If They Keep Insisting, They’re Being Rude
Something that could very well still happen, even after using all these methods, is that your hopeful beau will completely ignore everything you’ve said because rejection is too much for their ego to handle. In this case, they’re the ones who are completely out of line, and you should never worry about coming across as rude. Make sure you stand your ground and are stern with your answer. Don’t give them any attention after this, just walk away. Going back to a group of friends will definitely take some of the anxiousness out of the situation and make you feel way better. Always remember that you don’t owe anyone anything, and you shouldn’t make any decisions based on pity. Prioritize your feelings!