When negotiating through school, work and personal goals or aspirations, those of us in relationships often find ourselves having to go our separate ways from our partners, left to cope with being in a long-distance relationship for an indefinite period of time. A long-distance relationship does not mean having to be across the world from your loved one. Whether you and your partner live in different cities, provinces or countries, it is important to remember that long-distance relationships come in all shapes and sizes, all of which can be difficult to deal with — your feelings are valid no matter what.
With that being said, some of you may be wondering what makes me qualified to provide a how-to guide on maintaining a fulfilling, healthy long-distance relationship. Well, when I first met my now-boyfriend in May of 2020, both of us started dating knowing that he would be leaving for Rhode Island, U.S.A. for school, while I would be staying in Canada to attend university in Ontario — having to continue our relationship doing long-distance was hanging over our heads. Nevertheless, we were both committed to giving a long-distance relationship our best shot through our first years at university. Navigating through a long-distance relationship was not easy — we experienced all kinds of ups and downs. However, through this journey, I learned so much about myself, my boyfriend and our relationship. As a result, I am happy to offer my best tips, tricks and advice on how to maintain a fulfilling, healthy long-distance relationship.
1. It takes two
It is vital that both you and your partner are ready, willing and able to be in a long-distance relationship. Above all else, maintaining your relationships through long-distance needs to be something that both of you want — a relationship always takes two.
2. Communication is key
The phrase “communication is key” may sound cliche, but regardless I find the saying to be true — communication is a vital part of any relationship, especially through long-distance. It is important to remember that effective communication does not have to be excessive; you and your partner do not need to share every waking moment with each other, as this may not be a realistic, long-term dynamic for you and your partner. Instead, focus on making the most of touchpoint moments throughout the day. This includes the good morning and good night texts, words of affirmation, short and sweet updates about what you’re doing, along with an effort to debrief each other at the end of the day. Making sure to keep your partner in the loop about your thoughts, feelings and daily antics is an easy way to make one another feel comfortable, secure and appreciated in your relationship.
3. Plan long-distance dates
Being in a long-distance relationship does not mean that you and your partner cannot enjoy each other’s company. Pick a movie or television show and watch it together with Teleparty (formerly called Netflix Party). Make dinner together on FaceTime. Go on a walk while on the phone with one another. Send a gift or a letter and open it together over video chat. It is important to carve out quality time to spend with one another, even with distance!
4. Make plans for the next time you see each other
Whether it be a weekend trip or awaiting your partner’s arrival for the holiday season, knowing you have a face-to-face visit to look forward to can make a world of difference when in a long-distance relationship — the anticipation can keep you feeling excited and optimistic. Although the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder” may sound cheesy, coming together after spending a prolonged amount of time apart is so, so fulfilling.
5. Trust is vital
I cannot emphasize this enough: having trust in your partner is essential, especially in a long-distance relationship. One of the most common anxieties of being in a long-distance relationship comes from overthinking “what will my partner do if I’m not there” — will they be unfaithful? Lie? Cheat? While these are valid worries, a lack of trust will only lead to negative thoughts, feelings or actions. Neither you nor your partner deserves to be living in a constant state of worry — you have to be able to fall back on the fact that you have complete trust in each other. Above all and no matter what, you deserve loyalty, respect and unconditional love in your relationship, all of which stem from trust.
Although there is no exact science to making a long-distance relationship work, these are the best tips, tricks and tidbits of advice that I have to offer to help your relationship prosper through long-distance. I know it isn’t easy, but I am here to tell you that long-distance relationships can succeed.