To many people, putting yourself first sounds like an odd concept and is often accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame. How can I focus on what I want when everyone around me is struggling? This question is often one that I face myself; I feel the need to support everyone around me while ignoring the screaming voice inside my head that tells me that I need to help myself first.
Learning to put yourself first doesn’t mean that other people are getting left behind, or that you don’t care for them. It simply means that to be able to truly help others, you need to put energy into yourself too. It’s the same idea that when you are on a plane and the oxygen masks drop, you should place your own on first before trying to help others get theirs on. How on Earth would you be able to continue to help people if you didn’t bother to put your mask on and passed out? If we can’t stop and prioritize our needs and listen to what our body and mind are telling us, then it’ll only be so long before we can’t help anyone anymore.
Putting yourself first isn’t selfish. Many people have this common idea that by putting yourself first, you are neglecting everyone else in your life. This idea is not true at all; prioritizing what you need to do is the farthest thing from being selfish. When we can acknowledge our own needs and put effort into ourselves, we can begin to support others without losing ourselves in the process. Sometimes we need to take a step back and feel what we need to feel to help ourselves become better.
This idea has become apparent to me this year, and it may resonate with many other students or those who prioritize other aspects of their lives. Personally, I have always tried to push myself when it comes to my academics and do everything I can to do be successful. However, sometimes in the process of doing so, I forget to take care of myself. I become so worked up over my grades that I forget to do other things that make me happy. Many others, as well, do everything they can to be the best at their job or take care of their family, all while ignoring what they may need.
Learning to balance what you consider important while also taking care of yourself is necessary for everyone. A bad grade, a week away from work, cancelling plans on friends or family isn’t the end of the world if it means that you can finally take a minute to yourself and do what you want to do. Your life isn’t anyone’s but your own, so take the time to care for yourself and find time to do things that make you happy.
Self-care and knowing what you need shouldn’t make you feel guilty. If you continue to keep up with all other aspects of your life while neglecting yourself, one day you’ll wake up and realize that this life isn’t the one you want to be living. Put the love and effort you put into your friends, family, work and school and put it into yourself first.