“Your grades are fine; you can’t be sick!”
“People with mental illnesses can’t get out of bed in the morning. That’s not you.”
“But you look so healthy!”
These are just a few of the many dismissive phrases that are all too familiar for people living with high-functioning mental illness. Mental wellness is a spectrum, and it can be easy to assume that someone who looks like they’re doing fine must be mentally healthy. As someone who struggles with mental health challenges, I’m here to tell you just how real they are.
What is a high-functioning mental illness?
For many people, mental illness has a large impact on their day-to-day life; from not being able to get out of bed in the morning to an inability to concentrate in school. But for people like me, mental illness is much more hidden. Some people living with mental illness still socialize, keep their grades up and look healthy on the outside, but are also battling depression, anxiety or another illness. This type of mental illness is often referred to as “high-functioning,” even though those living with it may be facing just as many hardships as those whose illness is more visible.
Because our mental illness may be hidden, we often struggle with it behind the scenes. We might submit a stellar assignment on its due date, but that doesn’t reflect the hours of panic attacks or severe low moods we faced while writing it. When we hang out with our friends, we may feel paralyzed by social anxiety for the hours leading up to that coffee date. All the things that no one can see makes our illness even harder to deal with, because we feel so alone.
Stigma is real
Unfortunately, stigma remains high surrounding people with these illnesses who appear “okay” on the outside. Their symptoms are often dismissed, even by doctors. In my case, I was unable to access treatment for years because my illness was not interfering with my grades, so doctors didn’t take it seriously. One doctor I met with told me that I “wasn’t sick enough” to warrant a diagnosis because my clothing was appropriate for the weather and my outfit looked put together, which she thought couldn’t possibly be the case for someone who was really sick. We are constantly at battle with the idea of “seeing is believing.” But the more people talk about mental wellness and educate themselves, the lower the stigma becomes.
What we want you to know
It can be overwhelming to live with a mental illness that nobody believes in, especially when even doctors don’t. Believe us when we tell you about our symptoms, especially the ones that no one can see. Our mental illness is real, and we need just as much help, love and support as everyone else.
If you are struggling with high-functioning mental illness, know that there are people who will believe you. It is okay to set boundaries and take on less in order to take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself always matters most!