After seeing this trend all over TikTok, I scrolled aimlessly trying to figure out my version of the somewhat tacky and surface-level idea of “ins and outs for 2024.” After re-evaluating the year I had in 2023, some of my greatest experiences and arguably some of my worst, I think it’s safe to say there are definitely some things that I would gladly let exit my life moving forward. In terms of what’s “in,” I feel like it’s completely subjective and up for debate. Someone’s new baggy jean trend is another person’s American Eagle skinny jeans that they just can’t seem to put in the donate pile (I’m begging you to get rid of them). Despite realizing everyone’s “ins” are ultimately up to them, I think that we should all be sharing the toxic things we’ve adopted in our lives that need to get the boot to make sure that no one else has to go through what you did, or at least get a warning before the “canon event” commences. All of that being said, I do think I am highly qualified to share with you what’s “out” based solely on my year of academic highs and all-time lows, unintentional and intentional self-sabotage, relationship blowups and overall just a lot of times that had me thinking, “of course that just happened to me.” So, here are my five key “outs” for 2024, for the girls who need to let go of their “people-pleasing” nature and enjoy an energy-sucking-free year.
Calculating When to Respond to a Text
My first “out” is something that has been bothering me since it became the norm. As someone who is turning 20 this year, I think it’s fair to say that I (and many others) have grown out of the “if he answers in 20 minutes, you have to answer in 40” concept that we’ve created. If you want to answer each other fast, do it. If you don’t want to respond because the person is no longer giving the same energy you desire, so be it. In 2024, we’re not feeling guilty for not following “rules” on how to speak to someone. Be yourself and have a normal conversation. The days of trying to read between the lines of what someone is thinking or feeling via how long they’re taking to respond to you on Snapchat need to be O.V.E.R.
Letting Them “Come Back” (Even Though They Always Do)
The toxicity of the saying “they always come back” is aggravating but somehow proves to be correct every time. Although the ego boost you feel when the person who swore never to speak you again slithers back into your life is quite satisfying, the energy that they have already consumed by leaving in the first place and the anxiety you endured from seeing their name on your phone for the first time in months is NOT a good look. I’m not saying to lead with hate; don’t even give them the satisfaction of a block. It’s unnecessary. Let them follow, see you thrive and protect the heart you’ve been repairing and replenishing since they left. Be classy, have a laugh and say good riddance!
Self-Sabotage
On that note, I think it’s safe to say that this third “out” MUST be left in 2023. Whether we realize it or not, we constantly set ourselves up to get our feelings hurt, cause unnecessary drama or just do things in our lives that we know deep down will ultimately end in disaster. I think it’s time we all start maturing and realizing that it’s not quirky or funny to set yourself up for failure mentally and emotionally. Talking to him “for the plot” after he rotted your mental health is not actually “for the plot” at all; it’s just dumb. Let’s stop coining the term “for the plot” and using it as an excuse to make bad decisions and cause unnecessary havoc in our lives. 2024 is for peace and positive energy only!
Forcing Yourself to be Social / Saying “Yes” When You Want to Say No
Forcing myself to go out and agree to things I didn’t want to do in 2023 was arguably my biggest mistake. I’m sure others can relate to “feeling bad” for saying “no” to things that everyone is doing or to going somewhere everyone is going. It’s time we stop feeling the need to over-explain ourselves for just not wanting to do something. Whether it’s because you know it’ll drain your energy, you want just to stay in, rot and watch your show or because you just don’t feel like it, you owe no one an explanation for doing things for you. Normalize not penalizing ourselves for protecting our peace and doing things selfishly for us. Stop wasting your time on feeling bad; it’s not worth it.
Downplaying Things That Excite You/ Things That You’re Proud Of
Today, especially in this generation, people like to play down when they feel really strongly about something. It’s seen as “cool” to be emotionless and carefree. Personally, I found myself in 2023 feeling like I shouldn’t be sharing things that brought me joy or things that I accomplished in fear of being “boastful” or in fear that no one would care. That being said, in 2024, I think it’s important we prioritize keeping the people in our lives who want to hear about our successes and feel the same excitement we do when something positive happens to us. Whether it’s as stupid as getting home at the end of the day and being overly excited to watch your favourite reality show or getting an A on a paper that you thought you were going to bomb. It’s not “bragging” to share that you’re proud of yourself and it’s not embarrassing to be giddy and excited about things. You deserve to be celebrated and enjoy all of the happy times in your life.
Hopefully these 2024 outs helped you realize that life is too short to waste time doing things that don’t fill your cup. But hey, just because I used these as “outs” doesn’t mean I’m not still working towards maintaining them every day. Let’s call them goals! Don’t be too hard on yourself for not being perfect. Life can be messy sometimes. It’s healthy to cut yourself some slack and make mistakes… just AT LEAST make sure those mistakes don’t include letting them “come back.”
Peace & Love,
Gracee