Growing up, I experienced a lot of bullying in school. There was never a year of school that I was not the victim of bullying. Although, it wasn’t until I was in grade seven that I faced a new level of bullying that determined my fate of having a mental illness. Most of the time, my day was filled with fear. I missed a lot of school and was very alone – until one day a teacher noticed my behaviour and suggested that I get a diagnosis from a doctor.
I was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the age of 13, and after two years of being on a waitlist, I went to my first therapy session. At the beginning, I believed in the stigma around mental health and therapy. I didn’t give the session my full attention and thought that I didn’t need to be there. After a few sessions, I stopped going. I was more worried about what my friends would think, my image and being judged than about my health. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I started getting help with a different therapy technique, and I knew things would be okay.
When I first started therapy, I was going to get help for my anxiety. The second time around, my therapist and I agreed that I was suffering from much more than just anxiety. Funnily enough, my therapist the second time around was the same specialist I had seen when I was 15. She already knew my history and what didn’t work, which made it easier to develop a solution. We determined that I suffered from PTSD due to the emotional trauma and bullying I experienced throughout school.
I quickly fell in love with therapy after finding a technique that worked for me. Therapy was more than just talking; I was able to learn so much information about myself. I learned strategies for coping that worked with my schedule, my lifestyle and my hobbies. One thing that I have always found interesting is that I was never angry before I started PTSD therapy. I always moved on from the situation and forgave everyone for the things they did to me. Once I began to unpack these hurtful and unforgettable things, I was mad. Why and how did I ever forgive these people for what they did to me, and why was I never angry? I learned from therapy that when I was younger, I believed I deserved everything that happened to me and that I needed to move on. I am happier now that I experience anger; I’m more balanced with my feelings and I know how to respond appropriately to a situation.
Another reason why I love therapy is that I can talk about anything, and feel safe and heard. Everyone needs that one person they can talk to in their lives, and for me, that was my therapist. Talking made me feel at ease with my decisions and thoughts. I could talk things out, get feedback regardless of if it was negative or positive and get a second opinion on things. My biggest suggestion to anyone is that if you feel like you have a lot going on in your life or want someone to talk to, go to therapy.
Therapy changed my life for the better. I found out who I was, and I was able to enjoy life again. I struggled for so long, but eventually I was able to be happy with who I was. I discovered a new passion of mine that I hope to pursue in the future. Most importantly, I was able to move past the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy, and instead embraced everything they have to offer. Therapy is something that nobody should ever be ashamed of going to, talking about or thinking about. Therapy is important and can change your life. I always recommend giving it a try; and if you’re like me, try and try again until you find your perfect match.