If taking BuzzFeed quizzes is your favorite way to procrastinate, and you religiously take an insane amount of personality tests to find out what type of fruit or Myers-Brigg profile you are, then you’re my kind of person (I’m an INFJ if anyone is curious). And I’m pretty sure Gary Chapman, the creator of the 5 Love Languages Test, would agree. I’m not sure how his movement all started but here are the CliffsNotes: He randomly wrote a book one day and created a test that categorized different romantic gestures. This helped people find out how they enjoyed being treated. Couples around the world were shook and everyone lived happily ever after…more or less.
Except some people haven’t discovered this magical Bible yet. A lot of people out there are still struggling with how they should be showing their partner that they care – it’s a very common issue.
You might show them you care in one way, but they might not see it and complain about the lack of affection. With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, it’s a great time to actually figure it out and solve this problem. But first, actually take the test and bribe your partner to do it as well.
If you search up “The 5 Love Languages Quiz,” it will literally be the first or second link. When you find out their top love language, refer to my cheat sheet below and prepare to blow them away! If you’re not in a relationship and want to take it for fun to see what type of love language you communicate with, that’s totally cool too! Keep in mind that listening and paying attention is always the biggest not-so-secret weapon to finding the perfect gesture/gift, but this test is a pretty cool addition.
If their top love language is: Quality Time
Most people I know fall under this category. I mean, why else would couples want to go on dates together? I personally don’t really count this one because I think it applies to everyone that exists, so I like to use the other four love languages as add-ons to this one. Anyways, if this is your partners top love language, you want to be focusing on an epic date.
This doesn’t have to be expensive or at some Michelin-star restaurant that none of us can afford. What kind of person are they? If they’re quiet and enjoy low-key evenings, then maybe cooking a homemade meal or taking them out to a laid-back diner they’ve always wanted to try out would be a good idea. If they enjoy trying new things, then maybe go to a couples painting class together. The possibilities really are endless with this one because it’s literally just about spending time together and putting some thought into it.
If their top love language is: Acts of Service
If their top love language falls under this category, then I’m guessing they probably have a busy schedule and enjoy keeping things tidy and in order. Buying a dozen roses and running away just isn’t going to cut it. I recommend creating a cute little coupon-book and giving it to them. Coupon ideas could include “I promise to leave the toilet seat down for a month” or “Admit one coupon for washing the dishes without you asking” or “I promise to keep the living room tidy.” Even if you don’t do that, just taking the initiative to be mindful of their schedules and to help them out without them asking is what they truly want from you. If they have a midterm coming up, maybe help them cook lunch one day so that they don’t starve to death while trying to cram in their studying.
If their top love language is: Words of Affirmation
If you’ve ever experienced a situation where your partner complains that you don’t tell them how much you care about or love them, then there’s a good chance that it’s because this is one of their top love languages. It’s also a pretty common love language from what I’ve seen. Some really cheesy ideas could include creating a scrapbook stating all the reasons why you love them or making a jar with those reasons written on pieces of paper. They can pull out a slip and read a reason every time they’re feeling down and need something special to lift their mood. However, this is a love language you want to be implementing throughout your relationship, not just on one day. If you continue complimenting them more often and allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable on an ongoing basis, I can almost guarantee that those previous complaints will disappear.
If their top love language is: Physical Touch
This love language is dedicated to everyone out there who enjoys late-night cuddling and an obscene number of bear hugs. Think of date and gift ideas that include getting physical – whether that be a movie marathon session with fairy lights, dinner in bed or buying a gigantic teddy bear. While those are some random ideas for Valentine’s Day specifically, physical touch is the type of love language where you want to be implementing it on an ongoing basis. After all, it might be pretty weird if you were to be randomly cuddly and affectionate on one day and then go cold for the rest of the relationship. Hug them more, kiss them more and just do cute and wholesome actions like that!
If their top love language is: Gifts
If this is your partner’s love language, then I pray for your bank account (I’m kidding – kind of).
On a serious note, people who want gifts probably care less about the physical item and more about seeing the actual thought you put into it and what you came up with. This means no gift cards or generic presents that anyone can get someone. This love language is purely based on the person and how well you listen to them. If they’ve been dreaming about owning a special necklace with meaning, then you know what to do. If they’ve been dying to try out a new pastry at the quaint little bakery, then maybe buy that for them one day. If you miraculously have time and want to get creative, then consider doing a scavenger hunt with little trinkets they like placed at each location, and each location having some sort of meaning (first date, first kiss…you get the idea).
It’s blatantly clear that a love language is less about what you should do for a specific day, like Valentine’s Day, and more about how you should be acting on an ongoing basis. Although it might not always be 100 percent accurate for everyone, it provides a great baseline and foundation to build off of.
In the end, all of these love languages are essentially trying to do the same thing: they’re all different ways of communicating with your partner and showing them how much you care. Remember that communicating and listening to your partner is the building block of every strong relationship out there.
