The first time I ever really learned about peer pressure was during grade six. A cop came to my class and taught us a program called “Values, Influences and Peers,” or VIP for short. The program only lasts for a few days and is meant to teach positive lifestyle choices. This includes teaching what healthy friendships are, as well as the consequences of drinking and doing drugs. The program is said not to be a scare tactic, but rather a preventative measure to supress adolescent rebellion.
However, I will always remember the cop that spoke to my class describing peer pressure like standing on a fence. It was quite a dramatic analogy, and I would argue that it was in fact used as a scare tactic. She said that your friends are on one side of the fence (the dark side) and justice/morals are on the other (the good side). Our friends will supposedly try to pull us over the fence (to the dark side), but we must resist! For if we don’t, we could ruin our lives (our lives!) by drinking or doing drugs.
And look, I get it. Sometimes peer pressure is bad and we should learn how to use the word “no.” But we shouldn’t scare people away from trying to coax a friend into doing an activity we think they’d genuinely enjoy. And we should learn that sometimes it’s also okay to say “yes.”
As well, we should stop telling young adults that drinking and drugs are so horrendous. Telling them over and over not to do something doesn’t very well accomplish anything, they will become either fearful or secretive. We should be teaching youth and young adults how to be safe if they choose to drink or partake in recreational drug use.
Negative peer pressure is when a person suggests an activity to you that they want to participate in without caring if you will enjoy the activity. If you do say no, they become angry with you and make you feel guilty. The person may begin to isolate you from future events to try and coax you into caving. This type of peer pressure can create toxic friendships and situations.
Friends should support one another, which includes supporting them even if they aren’t comfortable going out to parties or drinking. If you find yourself in a toxic friendship, you should try to reach out to others who enjoy the same things as you, or at least will positively peer pressure you.
For example, “You should try this thing that I think you will like, but I’ll still love you even if you don’t do it.” Or, “You should come to this party because it’ll be more fun if you are there! But if you don’t want to that’s okay, and maybe we can do something else instead.”
People should always feel comfortable (and not afraid) to say “no.” But hopefully, with positive peer pressure, people can be open to saying “yes.”