For a lot of us, Valentine’s Day can become a stressful day. Whether it’s trying to find the perfect gift for your significant other or whether it’s the fact that you don’t have a significant other, it can cause a lot of pressure, but it doesn’t have to be this way. I am going to break it down for you and help you realize that it is important to be extra kind to yourself on Valentine’s Day no matter what situation you’re facing. After all, the day is about love and what better way to showcase love than by being nice to yourself?
Below are some of the best tips and advice I have learned over the years, as I am a hopeless romantic but still like to be realistic.
1. The stress of having a significant other
Whether you feel this stress now or you have in the past, finding a valentine is a lot of pressure. Maybe it’s the fact that you haven’t really been talking to anyone or maybe it’s the fact that you are, but you don’t want to have to do something serious with them. Whatever the case may be, understand that you don’t have to have a significant other to enjoy Valentine’s Day. Did you know that February 13th is actually a day called Galantine’s Day? It is a day when women celebrate their female friends and I think that’s amazing you could give that a chance if you do not have a date. Hey! This also goes for the men out there! Grab the boys and have a fun night of gaming! Also, you can still do fun things for yourself, such as plan a spa night, maybe drink a glass of wine if you are into that or maybe even just have a comfy night in, wearing your pj’s! If someone judges you that you don’t have a valentine, why are you around them? After all, you are totally allowed to be single and happy. Please do not think that just because you don’t have a valentine, you’re not good enough, because you are, and you don’t need a person or a date to prove that.
2. The art of gift giving
So maybe you have a valentine or a significant other and you are questioning what to get them for Valentine’s Day. That can be a lot of pressure. I don’t know why there is always pressure that we need to get our significant others something for Valentine’s Day when there are 365 days in a year when we can show the person we love that we care for them. It shouldn’t just mean that we have to show love to that person that one day, we should be showing kindness and love to that significant other all year round. Also, I don’t know why there’s a stigma around having to buy expensive gifts for your significant other on Valentine’s Day when honestly a handwritten love note could suffice, obviously depending on your partner. Everybody is different and just because someone is doing something it doesn’t mean that you have to too and it doesn’t mean you care about your partner less. I have realized in my life that people get so caught up about what they get their significant other that it ruins the whole fun of the day. However, if you like to be the one who buys fancy things, go for it!
Now another thing that could be a matter of opinion is that asking your partner to be your valentine is not always necessary. Now hear me out before you yell, and I am not speaking for everyone but if you have been with your partner for a while and you feel stress and pressure that you HAVE to ask them: you don’t. With that being said, if you haven’t been together for a very long time and YOU think that your partner should ask you to be their valentine or you should ask them to be your valentine, then go for it and have fun. However, I don’t think it needs to be something that’s very stressful and I don’t think that we should be judging people and calling men out saying they are a walking red flag for not doing so. Don’t get me wrong, most women love gestures, but if you feel pressured that you have to do it because social media tells you to, understand that you don’t and it is up to you and your partner to decide, not social media. If that is your thing go for it, but don’t rely on social media standards to make that choice for you.
To me I think that giving your undivided attention is honestly good enough as well as doing little things throughout the whole year to show that person that you do care about them, you don’t need expensive gifts to prove that unless you want to do so.
3. Ease your anxiety
I don’t know about you but I believe that since COVID-19 and being locked down for two years, I have more anxiety talking to people now than I ever have. Putting yourself out there and going on dates is already pretty stressful, and now we factor in more anxiety after the pandemic. Luckily for you, there are some ways to help your anxiety, but I do know firsthand that it is easier said than done. The first way you can help your anxiety is to remind yourself that dating has become challenging especially as we evolve our technology. It is easy to type a sentence but when you actually meet someone in person for the first time, it is stressful, but you need to remember that it’s not your fault. You are doing the best you can, and if someone does not like you or vibe with you, they are simply just not the one. Another way you can help your anxiety is to start small. You can start with video chatting on FaceTime or texting on social media and then you can go in with meeting them, you don’t necessarily have to meet them right away, baby steps!
If you have anxiety about being single on Valentine’s Day, my best advice to you would be to stay off social media. I say this because you already know you’re going to want to check up on your recent ex or check up on what your friends are doing but if that’s going to create more harm than good don’t do it, do yourself a favour instead. What you can do instead is reflect on all the challenges you’ve overcome and why you’re an awesome person. Oftentimes if someone doesn’t have a valentine, they start thinking that something is wrong with them when in fact they just haven’t met the right person and honestly that is okay, it takes time. Remember that being in a relationship does not equal success or happiness or wholeness and that you are okay and you are still complete even without a significant other.
My last piece of advice for you would be to understand that just because Valentine’s Day is a day set in place does not mean that if you have a significant other you should only treat them nicely on this day, you should be treating your partner nicely all year round, showing them they are special and that you care.
No matter what your situation is this Valentine’s Day, understand that you don’t need to have unwanted stress for the day, you can still have an awesome day by doing things that you and your partner enjoy, not doing things because social media tells you that you have to do them. If you don’t have a partner that is also okay, you don’t need to feel that you need someone in order to feel important, you just need to see your worth. If big gift-giving is your thing go ahead and do that, but if you’re on a tight budget like me or if gift-giving isn’t your thing that doesn’t mean you have to do it. Everyone celebrates this day completely differently and that is totally okay, it is about more than just gifts and money being spent and thrown around. Show love and kindness to your partner, to yourself and to others around you, you never know what someone else could be going through! No matter when you read this, I hope you know that you are awesome and there’s no one else in the world like you, and if you are struggling remember you will get through it, you are strong and I believe in you!