An important lesson I’ve been continuously learning to apply in my life is self-advocacy — specifically the ability to effectively communicate my needs, set boundaries and express them to create a comfortable space for myself. Far too often, I witness others being spoken down to or disrespected, whether by their bosses, partners, friends or anyone else. Speaking up for yourself in these circumstances may not always be easy or come naturally but doing so has allowed tranquility in my life as well as the confidence to achieve more.
Professional settings might be one of the more difficult places to speak up for yourself, considering as students we may be younger and less experienced than members of our team, bringing about potential feelings of inferiority. I initially felt uncomfortable when I started at my current workplace for these reasons. My unfamiliarity with the applications and protocols used made me feel less adequate, despite being hired for a reason as a student and my team knowing I’d need time to learn. Regardless of how I felt, I made it a goal to never express self-doubt to team members. Instead, I emphasized my willingness to learn, as well as the skills I was already able to contribute. Additionally, practicing affirmations of belonging helped emphasize the fact that I deserve to be there just as much as everyone else. Ultimately, I think my approach to this role allowed me to become comfortable and make connections quickly, which in turn contributed to my contract being renewed and taught me a valuable attitude I’ll continue to take to future positions.
Advocating for yourself relationally is just as important as it would be in the workplace. I’ve noticed, at least with the people in my life, that how we allow ourselves to be treated is a direct reflection of ourselves. One way I’ve been able to improve the relationships in my life is by examining and improving my relationship with myself. A few years ago, I was quite shy and had people in my life that I felt disrespected me and at the time, I was too nervous to do anything about it. Looking back, it’s hard to say why I allowed this to happen, but honestly, upon reflection, I’d say this came from a place of insecurity. When I removed these people from my life, other people immediately noticed the instant uplift in my mood. Even though it was difficult since it forced me to be confrontational and independent — which are qualities I used to struggle with — it also taught me how to embrace these traits, which allowed me to become comfortable setting boundaries and being by myself, which ultimately translated into confidence.
There’s a lot to say when it comes to advocating for yourself, as it involves a lot of factors such as different circumstances and personal situations. Ultimately, the art of self-advocacy comes from doing what is best for yourself. Everyone has different people and situations in their lives, as well as personalities, so what I did to advocate for myself may not work for you. But finding the right way to advocate for yourself is important to help you feel more comfortable in your circumstances, minimize mistreatment through the boundaries you’ve set, and ultimately improve your relationship with yourself.