I like to think of myself as a very honest person. I really just wear every emotion on my sleeve: sad, happy, mad, annoyed. In my eyes, I’m an open book. However, while being put in many different situations, I’ve come to know some people who just think the world is puppies, rainbows and butterflies every day. Now, I’m not trying to come across as someone who hates everyone and everything, even though at times it feels like I do. Believe it or not I’m quite an optimistic and hopeful person, I just have my days… as we all do. I’m sure we can all relate to that text from our moms or a close friend after you just poured out your anger to them, and their response is “just be grateful” or “it’s going to be okay”. Although these responses might be true to say, and I might have some drama queen tendencies, when I’m texting you in all caps about the person I didn’t want to see that I just ran into or after I just got my test back with a C- after countless hours of studying, sometimes the LAST thing I want to hear is some positive words of encouragement.
Being a “say it how it is” type of person has its negatives and positives, but it seems like today, no one seems ready to hear the truth. The question really is, are you being a hater, or are you just being honest? To me, there are just certain things that I find reasonable to complain and be honest about.
Getting cheated on or wronged by a man
Without a doubt, if you’re friends are not screaming with you, then… I sincerely apologize on their behalf.
Seeing someone you like get with someone else
I don’t even need to say anything else.
Not getting the academic validation you’re craving
This might be a me issue, but let’s save that for another article…
I could go on and on. The moral of the story is I think it’s healthy to wholeheartedly feel all of your emotions. It’s not easy to be the happy-go-lucky friend all the time and trust me, I’ve tried. However, I’ve learned that ‘people pleasing’ and holding back your feelings in fear of being “too much” is not sustainable.
Going into university, I wore my biggest “hey girly” persona for the first week until I found my people who I didn’t need to do that around. When making new friends, I’ve found that it’s definitely beneficial to read the room. Not all girls want to be friends with someone overly honest, sarcastic and blunt… right away. Speaking for us strong-personality gals, I respect the fact that I probably should dial it back and bring out my more friendly, perhaps more feminine self when around a new crowd. Then, once I find out if the people I’m around share my same energy, that’s when we let loose. While the “hey girly” persona worked for me for maybe 4 seconds until I caught myself sarcastically joking about my boy trauma, I quickly learned that what people really want in their life is someone who’s real.
There’s no point in trying to fool someone into thinking you’re this perfectly dressed, pristine hair at all times, overly happy person at all hours of the day. Because let’s be honest, we all know that’s not you! Let loose, be goofy, and be honest with yourself and others. At the end of the day, people feed off of your energy and if you let them know that it’s okay to be imperfect, then you’ll find yourself making so many more genuine friendships. So, promise me that when you’re sad, you’ll cry, when you’re annoyed, you’ll rant, and when you catch yourself being “a hater”, at least make sure it’s with good judgement!
Peace & love,
Gracee