Standards are a complicated scale, as we all know what they are and that we should acquire them but few of us actually stick to our standards when it comes to relationships, friendships, jobs and lifestyle. We end up settling for what we think may be the best we can get and become only half satisfied. In 2023, we won’t lower our standards for anyone or anything. The first change to make in order to allow yourself to have these standards and stick to them is a mindset. Believe that your standards are achievable. Are you happy in your current living situation? Are you happy in your relationship? Do your friendships meet your standards? You deserve to have all aspects of your life meet what you truly want and therefore we have to dig deeper into why you don’t allow yourself to achieve these standards and how you can follow through with all you wish for.
Friendships
Friendships come and go and you’ll experience many different friends at many different times in your life. When you’re younger and in school, you’ll often settle for friends of convenience rather than those of true value. Unfortunately, the harsh reality is that it’s better to be alone than to be with friends who truly don’t care about you. I’ve personally experienced both sides of this; the friends who are in it for themselves and secretly say things behind your back and the friends who will make you feel better when you’re sad and put you above all else. As I’ve gotten older and experiences have gotten more difficult, I’ve really seen those who stick with you in tough times and make your life worthwhile. If a friend seems more of a challenge and brings you down more than they bring you up, it’s unfortunately not worth it. Ending a friendship can be heartbreaking, but if you know in your gut that you’d be happier without them, sometimes letting go of the memories and knowing your worth is far more rewarding.
Relationships
Toxic relationships are very difficult to see when you love a person. It’s the hard reality of it because often we get caught up in our feelings and think things will change and be better because of love. Sometimes, the situation isn’t even terrible but it just doesn’t meet what you truly want. I went through a breakup not long ago, one which was unexpected and at first hurt more than anything I had in my life. But once I truly looked back at it with a clearer lens, both of us were unhappy more than we were happy in the relationship. We caused each other more stress than good and despite how we cared for each other we didn’t satisfy what each other wanted in a relationship. The advice I’d received after the relationship ended was that one day, there would be someone as obsessed with me as I was with them. That somewhere there is a person who will be my best friend as well as my significant other and they’ll come from the most unexpected places. You can’t force any relationship. As hard as it may be, sometimes ending things with someone who doesn’t reach your standards will make you see more clearly what you deserve next time. If you want to be with someone who will invite you out on a night out, go on weekly dates with you, cook you breakfast in the morning and do all your favourite activities with you then that’s the only thing you settle for. Because I promise, that person is out there and trusting the universe’s timing is the only way that person will come into your life.
Lifestyle
The hardest thing to change is a lifestyle. How you grew up, the resources you’re given and your environment all factor into where you end up in life. However, it doesn’t mean that if you’re born into a certain lifestyle you must remain that way forever. Changing how you view the world and accepting how your parents think and what you’re supposed to do is difficult but entirely possible. If your dream is to move to an island and work remotely far away from the cold, city environment you’ve always known then you should pursue that. It is harder to completely change your current environment than to just settle for what you’ve been given, but standards in life should not lower just because it’s the more difficult path. You are only given one chance in life and settling for what you’ve been given rather than what you want isn’t worth it. You may have people judge you and believe what you’re doing is stupid. That is okay. That means you’re doing it right. You’re pursuing what you want, not what others think you should have. Go for it, you never know what could happen.
In 2023, we all need to work on caring less about what other people think and more about what we ourselves want. If we choose to settle for less than what we want, then we’re wasting our lives and failing nobody but ourselves. Sometimes going for your standards may be the more difficult road, but knowing that being alone in something is okay because your time will come, is the key to achieving all you want. In 2023 we don’t lower our standards, we get everything we want.