Humans have progressed further than any other species to date. We’ve conquered cities and built systems that work for us. From a productive point of view, we’ve done it all. With all our achievements, you’d think that we would’ve learned a thing or two about love? Not in the slightest. Despite their reliance on us for physical survival, dogs have surpassed us in their ability to love. After all, there’s a reason why man’s best friend isn’t a man.
As the most evolved species on earth, it’s almost laughable to think that we don’t know how to love unconditionally. We fall for trivial qualities, someone’s potential, or a sliver of their personality. We cherry-pick the parts of people to love. Our love is dependent on fragile structures like contentment and convenience. It’s a precarious house of cards that can fall at any second. When it comes to loving others, we’ve lost sight of the big picture.
This is where dogs have us beat. Dogs would never treat us the way we treat each other- it’s why we’re so drawn to them. They don’t care what kind of day you’re having or if you aren’t in the mood to socialize. They love us regardless. Watching your dog’s face light up when they greet you at the door is a refreshing break from the “human” version of love.
We would all love to find a person who is able to care for us in the way that dogs can. Unfortunately, this is an ideal that we can’t live up to. I wish we could, I really do. At first, I wasn’t sure why humans- arguably the most competent species on Earth- weren’t capable of loving others the way that dogs love us. It took me a while, but I’ve realized that it’s our difference in thinking that holds us back. Dogs think with their instincts, and humans don’t. We actually ignore them, even though they’ve kept us alive for millennia.
Dogs have mastered the art of instinctive decision-making. They eat, sleep and drink when their bodies tell them to. It’s also why they’re the best judges of character. Have you ever noticed a dog act apprehensively around someone? It seems like odd behaviour, since they are usually inviting towards everyone they meet. This reaction is them actively listening to instincts that are warning them of something. Something off about that person’s character. My dog only did this a couple of times on walks, but I walked a little faster whenever his behaviour changed.
Humans seem to have replaced their instinctive thinking abilities with rationalization. We attribute the butterflies people give us to the excitement of meeting them. We devalue gut feelings as irrational whims that couldn’t possibly lead us in the right direction. We prefer to think everything through, to the point where we think too much.
We approach love in the same way. We ignore the instincts that blink louder when a person isn’t good for us. We only focus on what we think and not what we feel in the moment. We start to value the change in status, the joint income and the convenient relationship more than the person themselves. Whereas dogs think less, and let their feelings have a greater influence on their behaviour. This is what allows them to love in their trademark way.
Even if we can’t love other people the way that dogs can, we can make an effort to do so. We can listen to our instincts when they’re desperately trying to tell us something. We can deemphasize the benefits of a relationship and focus on the person themselves. We can try to love people when they need it most and provide support in a way that a loved one should. We probably won’t ever achieve unconditional love, but we can continue to learn from our four-legged friends, eager as a dog on a bone.