Ah love, the most beautiful and difficult thing any person can try to understand. But why is it so hard to understand? While everyone is so vastly different, there are certain things that can help a relationship thrive and that starts with understanding each other’s love languages.
What is a love language?
A love language is a way that a person communicates love to anyone that they love. There are five different types: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gifts. Physical touch has a range to it, it can mean sex or just holding hands and anything in between. Words of affirmation refer to complimenting or physically saying encouraging words to someone. Acts of service are doing things for a loved one, whether it be doing chores for them, or tying their shoes and so on. Quality time is time spent together, and gifts can be split into giving or receiving as a love language.
Now that you have a little bit of information on the subject, let’s get down to the “why does it matter?”
The reason knowing your love language is important is based entirely on the fact that knowing yourself and the way you need to be loved is one of the greatest strengths you can have in a relationship. By telling the person you love what it is specifically that you need, you erase the line of confusion for them and for yourself. Although it’s not an easy thing to just know about yourself, there are online quizzes you can take that prompt you to answer questions and give you a result (although I would do more than one to really be sure). You can also ask your partner or friends what they think your love language is and research specific ones from there.
Why is knowing your partner’s love language important?
While it’s great that you’ve made some progress in understanding yourself, if you truly love your partner and wish to love them to the best of your abilities, it’s likely you’ll need to know what love languages they have as well. It could be fun to figure it out together by talking about what each of you likes and doesn’t like when giving or receiving love in any form or you could take quizzes online together and discuss your results. Either way, it’s a positive learning experience that leaves every party benefited.
Love languages don’t have to only be strictly for romantic relationships. If you’re not considering learning yours because you aren’t in a relationship, think again. Love languages can also help you to know how you give love to your family whether it’s hugs or telling them you love them and so on. It could also help open the conversation to your parents or your siblings and get them to know their own love languages as well. Also remember it is totally okay to have multiple. They are not entirely categorical and sort you into a certain way, they can overlap without issue.
I don’t claim to be a love expert nor do I totally know what love languages I have. It’s okay to be unsure and learn more as you go as long as you approach it with an open mind. Best of luck in your love lives!