Hallmarks are my favourite thing about December — and the cable box my roommates and I just splurged on is making all my dreams come true. No joke: I actually screamed when I realized our base package came with the “W” Network, which runs the Hallmark Countdown to Christmas!
It has come to my attention that not everyone loves these movies as much as I do. My solution: I have compiled a list of all the reasons these cheesy romance movies are so great to justify my love and change some minds. Warning: Prepare for the red-and-green overload of only Hallmark gifs, because I am nothing if not ~authentic~.
They literally always have cookies.
Seriously — always. Usually some kind of couples-bonding session either with one of them botching the icing on all their gingerbread men, but it’s okay because IT’S LOVE or the cookies all coming out flawlessly and making the rest of us look bad.
For the optimal cookie craze, I suggest Christmas Joy (2018) where you can watch that cute guy from Sydney White get down to business with the Christmas Cookie Crawl AND gingerbread contest.
Christmas tree-decorating is turned into an almost reverential experience …
It’s corny but it’s cute — like all the best Christmas things are.
… And the ornaments almost always have an extra special importance.
We all need a reminder once in a while to find meaning in the little things — and that’s definitely what we get when watching someone hang their dead grandmother’s handmade glitter bulb.
If you want some extra special ornaments, check out Magical Christmas Ornaments (2017)—the name says it all!
They’re all about the holidays, right down to the character names.
Call it stupid all you want — you know you smile when you meet all the Hollys and Joys.
Family is so, so important and makes the movie feel like home
Be honest: how many times have you “forgotten” to call your parents or sibling back? Take a hint from Christmas Switch (2018), where two sisters literally trade lives because they’re so out of touch — call them back or bake them a cake or something (friend families count too!), so they never forget you care.
No matter how quirky and wild the plotline, it somehow always seems to work.
^^ So ready for this. I too feel most cheerful when wearing a sequinned Elvis Santa hat.
Current favourite is Lucky Christmas (2011) in which — no joke — a single mom‘s winning lottery ticket is stolen and she falls for one of the thieves. I’m also pumped for Christmas at Graceland (2018), which I know nothing about — except that Elvis is involved. Will it be stupid? Probably. Will I watch it anyway? It’s already set to record.
At least four characters are so in love with Christmastime, it’ll thaw even the hardest Grinch’s heart.
All the talk about the “spirit of Christmas” might get old, but the warm and fuzzy feelings never will.
The love interests are suave AF …
LOOK AT HIS EYEBROW LIFT. Content yourself on an hour and a half of pure charming goodness from dear Mr. Darcy with Christmas at Pemberley (2018).
… of utterly, perfectly adorkable.
The quirks are just as loveable.
The overworking bosses and underwhelming careers are super relatable.
Yeah, we’ve all been taken advantage of by our work. But if Layla managed to beat her boss in their interior-decorating competition for the Holiday Home Tours in December Bride (2016) and come out with both a fiancé AND a prestigious new employer, then it’ll get better for you too.
If kids are involved, prepare for an onslaught of adorable-ness.
You wish you were as cute as these kids are when you were little. Even the bratty ones — reserved for the plethora of royal kiddos, like in A Crown for Christmas (2015) — are charming in their way.
There’s always a BFF and they’re always super supportive.
Best way to enjoy these BFF pairings is to marathon with your own BFF! My roommate and I do this on the daily and vote on the best kiss. Alternatively, you could turn it into a drinking game — take a sip for every cliché!
Best Hallmark Friend award this year goes to Samantha from Mistletoe Inn (2017) — easily the best wing-woman and hype-woman ever.
They turn falling snow into a kind of magic.
Way better than the biting-cold of the blizzard I’m usually watching these movies during.
Pretty much everyone’s made a Hallmark at some point, so you’re bound to recognize someone from another favourite show. Once the initial shock wears off, you can laugh at all their festive antics, like I did when Chad Michael Murray popped up in Road to Christmas (2018). Great guy, great movie, great experience.
People are smiling all the time
It’s infectious, admit it. I can see you smiling back already.
There’s always a happily ever after.
And when life gets us down, sometimes that bright spot of joy is just what we need.