There is a trend going around that talks about how women are accepting the bare minimum from men. It’s time to take a look inwards and dissect what this really means. When you hear the phrase “accepting the bare minimum,” it is implied that you are accepting actions for the sake of them not being that bad and that there is some abstract minimum standard that you are not questioning and are blindly accepting. Why should you raise your standards, and how can you learn to accept more than simply the bare minimum?
Society has held men to a different standard than women when it comes to dating. The ‘boys will be boys’ mentality carries over to the dating scene. Women have been conditioned to accept what society claims men are capable of. This is not only unfair to men as it paints them in a bad light, but it forces women to accept actions that otherwise would be deemed unacceptable. Men are fully capable of being kind, caring and everything great, and it is unfair that they are being held to such a low standard when they are clearly capable of so much more.
Having to raise your own standards as a woman can be hard. It can be hard for you to feel like you deserve more when you are taught to accept what little kindnesses you get. If you find yourself saying “he isn’t so bad,” you should start to critically analyze your relationship. You are fully deserving of all the things you want. You shouldn’t be accepting behaviours that are clearly indicative of unwantedness on their part. You deserve to feel loved and understood in a relationship and should not accept actions that indicate otherwise. You can start by figuring out what a relationship means to you and what you personally need in a relationship to feel satisfied. Once you understand what your standards are, make sure you do not settle for less. Learn to demand more than the bare minimum because you are worthy of more than that. A relationship should have an equal division of effort. If you are putting in 100%, they should be too. If not, they are not worth it, and you need to move on to someone who is worthy of your time.
It can be difficult to unlearn standards that have been placed upon you. It can be difficult to learn to take up space and demand more when you have been conditioned to be silenced and minimized. However, it is so important that you learn to communicate and advocate for your needs as a woman. It can be scary, and it can take a lot of self-reflection and inner healing, but it is something that you should attempt to do. It will make you much happier in the long run, guaranteed.