Christmas is right around the corner. Kids all over the world are getting excited about Santa Claus arriving and giving them that toy they’ve been dreaming about for months. People are spreading their holiday cheer all over town, whether it be by volunteering or simply spending time with loved ones. But for so many families, mine included, that are just trying to make it through the next few weeks, Christmas is a time of sadness. Christmas is a sign of yet another holiday flying by without a certain someone there.
The first holiday season without a loved one is so extremely difficult; it’s hard for me to put into words. So many traditions that are just a little off. So many gatherings and dinners that are missing a specific presence or certain mustached old man. So many gift labels with that missing name. So many silent thoughts of, “I wish you were here.” It’s so noticeable. An absence. It’s like the big, white elephant in the room. Everyone knows that they’re not there, but no one wants to fully accept it.
The holiday season is a time for celebrating family and friends, near and far. This idea should also apply to those who are no longer with us. Celebrating the first Christmas without my grandpa is going to tear me apart, but to think about all the wonderful Christmas’ we’ve celebrated in the past is what keeps me going. Reminiscing and enjoying my family members that are still around is what keeps me going. My now widowed grandmother is what keeps me going.
Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, birthdays, graduations, weddings. There will be an absence from now on. It will be noticeable. It will make your heart beat just a little bit faster. It might make you cry. It might even make you smile. Whatever it may be, embrace it. Notice that this person isn’t there, say, “gosh, I miss you so much and I wish you were here with me right now” and just keep on going. Find the strength in whatever can pull you up for that event or that special day. It’s out there. Your person is out there. Maybe not physically, but in some small way, you know they are and you have to believe in that.