Dear Guydance,
I am a virgin and plan to practice chastity, not to be confused with celibacy, throughout my life. I find a lot of peace and hope with this choice and I am supported by some good friends and all of my family.
Unfortunately, of the people I interact with, few know what it means to be chaste, let alone how to respect a person who decides to be chaste. Mostly, I am virgin-shamed a lot by both guys and girls. I can deal with this in my personal life but I am concerned for my gal pals who are less equipped to stand up to virgin-shaming and decide for themselves whether to maintain their chastity, or begin a new life of chastity. Can you help us? My question is: what should people know about chastity and are guys able/willing to respect that if they don’t already?
Sincerely,
Proud Prude
Dear Proud Prude,
I’m going to be 100% honest and say I had to look up the difference between chastity and celibacy on the Internet. According to Google, chastity is, “the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.” So from reading your question I’m under the assumption that you are speaking about refraining from sex your whole life.
This is obviously a huge decision you’ve made and it’s something I’m sure you’ve put a lot of thought into. Having your family and friends supporting you throughout your choice is a huge boost of confidence as well. So I must say congratulations and props to you for pursuing this lifestyle.
The first part of your question was “what should people know about chastity?” and honestly I’d like to know more. I have some knowledge of the practice but everyone’s personal beliefs and reasons are different for pursuing it. I think you should explain this to your close friends and any guys who show interest in dating you. This is a topic you need to be straightforward with and bluntly honest. You also need to be open to questions and patient with others because this is a completely different lifestyle and culture than what most are used to.
In regards to your question about guys being able or willing to accept this I think almost all guys are going to respect your decision. BUT just because they respect your decision does not mean they would want to date you. That’s a large sacrifice and unless they’ve already made that decision themselves it could be difficult for them to make that commitment. After some time I think you’ll find some amazing guys who respect that part of your life and won’t pressure you to change it. It’s not going to be easy, especially in today’s society, but I truly believe you’ll be able to find someone who is pursuing the same life you are because there are other ways to express your love other than sex.
Good luck!
Adam Bartusek