Hmmm I can’t help but feel this is a girlfriend of a fellow athlete. I have had women complain to me about this in the past about guys in sports. I have no way of knowing for sure if you are talking about an athlete so I will address the athlete and non-athlete aspects.
As for athletes, time spent around the guys with your sport is not “guy time,” by any means. Period. In football, we spend around 40 hours a week participating in football related activities because we have to. Yes, we are around all the boys and it is a privilege to play but dragging yourself to weights at 6am four times a week or yoga twice a week is far from a brodown. You’re there to take care of business and focus on you and what you have to do to get better as an athlete. Any athlete will attest that participating in sports with your friends does not suffice for the social bonding you have outside of athletics. Leisure time is where true team chemistry is built because you have the freedom to relax and enjoy yourselves without a whistle of a screaming coach at your back.
The same goes with guys who live together. Even without sports, going through the week and balancing work, class and other miscellaneous headaches doesn’t allow for much time to hang around and throw a few beers back with the boys. You’re so focused on what you need to get done all week that you don’t pay too much mind to your boys. But when a Friday roles around it’s your chance to cut loose and get involved into some serious bro hijinks.
Now, this is the most important part that I want to stress because I went through the same thing with a girl I was with SO many times. She always felt like she was on the back burner to football and my friends. Even though she understood the need for guy time away from sports she still wanted some quality time amongst the two of us.
So… the best advice I can give is to communicate very clearly what you want and how you feel. Every girl wants her quality time with her man, but you have to distinguish what quality time may be. Guys may consider watching TV with you and the roommates in the living room “time together” because you’re doing an activity together. Make it clear that you want to have your own one-on-one time and that you want to feel special even though he’s got plenty of other stuff on his plate. The best thing I ever did was to set a specific day designated to either guy night or date night. Choose a day/night that best suits both your schedules.
DO NOT try to take away his guy time. This is such a crucial part of a man’s life. Men naturally are meant to bond and hermit themselves. That’s why man caves are a thing. Help your man find balance between the guys and your relationship so everyone wins, because a great girlfriend never tries to make a man choose one or the other. In the end if it’s important enough he’ll make time for both.
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