Though many people get a tattoo simply for the vanity aspect (which there is nothing wrong with), I’ve always believed that if I were to ink my body, it would need to have great meaning to me. While my parents gave ample reminders that it was permanent and it would be painful, those things only made me want it more (but not in a rebel child kind of way). A tattoo stays on your body forever, and this represents the person I forever want to be.
In the year of 2017, I found myself facing a very conflicting period of my life. I was going to make the transition from high school to college and couldn’t tell whether I was excited, scared, or even ready. This past year was, without a doubt, the toughest time in my life thus far. While I faced choosing a college, graduation, moving away from my best friends, new jobs, a hospital visit, lost friends, and a first love that was no longer strong enough to hold on, the biggest weight I carried was severe depression and anxiety. I can’t say I was entirely sure I would find myself writing this today, or seeing 2018 at all. I stand here today to put that all behind me.
The Lily of the Valley is the flower of May (my birth month) and is known to be a symbol meaning “the return of happiness.” This year is the return of my happiness and the return of my true self. This flower is known to attract people by its pretty and delicate scent. While my goal isn’t necessarily to smell pretty (I suppose it’s not a bad start), I aim to radiate a light that attracts others. The lily of the valley grows tall yet hangs its head low. This will remind me to rise above and strive for greatness, but to stay humble and never forget my roots. I drew multiple flowers to remind myself that I am not alone and never will be.
I not only chose my design carefully, but I selected the colors carefully as well. The color white represents simplicity and purity in my heart. Purple is a reminder of the power, beauty, and respect I hold. Pink is a reminder to be kind, nurturing, and approachable. Blue is to remind me to value inner peace and truth. Red is so I don’t forget the courage, passion, and strength I must fight for. The color yellow sparks joy and lightheartedness. Green represents the continuous resilience and optimism I aim to uphold.
Though this last year brought many challenges, I could not be more blessed for how it has strengthened my faith. This tattoo also has spiritual meaning to me. In the Bible, we are told that when Jesus was crucified, Mary stood at the foot of the cross and wept. Where her tears fell, lily of the valleys later grew. This reminds me to remain hopeful for the new beginnings to come, even when it feels as though my whole world has come crashing down. I want to live my life to be more like Jesus. More patient, more loving, slow to anger, and reluctant to pass judgment. My tattoo is a reminder to do so.
This past year I have also matured greatly, decided to major in psychology, and grown closer to my family than ever before. I have learned to appreciate the quality of time spent with a person over the quantity, and most importantly I’ve found peace at heart knowing that everything works out the way it is supposed to.
Most days last year I cried hopeless tears. Today I cried not because of the pain (maybe a little because of the pain), and not because my wallet was begging me not to (it was definitely begging), but because lately I am the happiest I have been in a long, long time. I am so filled with hope and love and aspiration. God has truly made me new.
This year I will bloom, I will grow, I will be happy, and I will not stay stuck. I know it will not all be beautiful and delicate and triumphant, but if I am knocked to the ground, I will not stay down.
I will bloom.