Good morning Collegiettes, HC here.
This year marks 10 years since we met our favorite privileged (or wannabe privileged) friends: goddess Serena Van Der Woodsen, queen Blair Waldorf, bad boy Chuck Bass, dreamboat Nate Archibald and pretentious Dan Humphrey.
Since 2007 was a wildly different time, here are 10 things that would happen if we were keeping up with their nonsense today. Warning: minor spoilers ahead.
1. First and foremost, Gossip Girl would be on Snapchat.
People would take pictures and videos and send them to GG and he or she would post them from Memories. Sure, Gossip Girl posted videos to the blog, but Snapchat is just so much more accessible than the hassle of trying to load the blog, especially if you’re out and about. Plus, it would be easier to avoid accidentally revealing sources (looking at you, Georgina’s husband*). *Disclaimer: Georgina is Gossip Girl for a period of time on the show.
2. Gossip Girl would have an app.
If you’re into reading the blog to find out more about what nonsense your favorite Upper Eastsiders are up to, the blog would be a great companion to GG’s Snapchat story. After all, there’s only so much text you can write on a snap.
3. People would recognize that living in Brooklyn does not qualify as being “poor”.
Even at the time the show was set, living in Brooklyn was not cheap! I still wonder how Rufus could afford that really nice loft, sending 2 kids to private school on the Upper East Side and NYU. Now, Brooklyn is an “it” place to live, which even Blair Waldorf would know. A loft like the Humphreys’ today could set you back upwards of $2 million!
4. Everyone would have iPhones.
This one seems like a given, but no one would have a Blackberry. They’re pretty much obsolete except for Kim Kardashian. Plus, they would all have Find My Friends turned on and it would be so much easier to catch people in lies.
5. The production company that Serena worked for in Los Angeles would have thoroughly combed through her social media presence before hiring her.
Although that job was a great opportunity for Serena, there is a very good chance they would not have hired her if they had seen all her debauchery from previous years (the video of her and Nate at the Shepherd wedding, anyone?)
6. It would be significantly harder to hack into people’s phones.
On the show, all you had to was get ahold of someone’s phone and you could ruin their lives because you didn’t even have to break into their phone. If it were set today, since they’d all have iPhones, you’d have to either get their passcode or their fingerprints, which is a tall order since you obviously don’t want them to know you have it.
7. The whole Charlie/Ivy/Lola thing would have been over before it even started.
When “Charly”, the estranged Rhodes cousin, showed up, Serena definitely would have added her on Facebook and Snapchat and followed her on Twitter and Instagram, only to find that she was a fraud. It would have had to have been a very elaborate plot to pull off, and I doubt Carol would’ve thought it through that much.
8. The same goes for Serena’s dad.
One word: Facebook. They definitely would have looked him up!
9. All of Chuck’s random hook-ups over the years would have come from Tinder.
Chuck would have his radius set to 100 miles. We all know he isn’t picky. As for his bio? Simple: “I’m Chuck Bass”. All the ladies would come running.
10. Nate would’ve worked on the Clinton campaign.
Although the Vanderbilt-Archibald family’s political affiliation remains pretty ambiguous, Nate’s family is political rivals with Bree Buckley’s family, and we learn that her family is conservative. At the end of the series, Nate is running for mayor of New York City, which was Hillary’s HQ. Nate’s family would’ve been major donors to her campaign and Nate would’ve definitely been a key staff member.
Colliegettes, you know you love me. HCXO
PS: Here’s a gif of Nate looking extra dreamy, just because. You’re welcome.