I can buy myself flowers
Write my name in the sand
Talk to myself for hours
Say things you don’t understand
I can take myself dancing
And I can hold my own hand
Yeah, I can love me better than you can
From Miley Cyrus song titled “Flowers”
For the past few weeks, “Flowers” by thee “Hannah Montana”( yes, I said what I said) has been plaguing my social media pages on all realms, but in a good way. This song has not only been played millions of times, but the positive engagement I have witnessed on social media, has created this virtual support system for individuals who are possibly getting over a break up or just needed a musical pick me up. When I first heard the song, I immediately fell in love with it! From the bluesy guitar instrumentation to the lyrics and the music video visuals, the song soon became a mantra for me. No matter if I was hitting the gym or simply doing my skincare routine, the song stuck for all the right reasons. This sudden burst of self love empowerment and affirmations, hitting the radio-waves, reminded me that being single is a beautiful thing. I remembered being single and forgetting to affirm myself as an individual to invest into my relationship and the other person, but now since the “shoe is on the other foot,” I’m here to remind you all a few key tips about how to navigate “the season of love” being from both perspectives.
In an era where a majority of the population has been engulfed in the various algorithms that social media consists of, it is my honor to come to you as your “virtual inner voice,” to tell you that you’re not alone and I feel for the trap as well-the trap of believing that life is boring if you’re single.
As someone with an extensive list of dating experience, I will be one to tell you that, dating is not all that and a bag of chips and relationships, if done incorrectly, can result in a significant amount of emotional turmoil. According to the Thriving Center of Psychology, approximately 56% of single people have expressed that dating during post “panorama” times are significantly more difficult. Which I can attest to due to the matter that quarantine has changed the trajectory of our lives that we have never experienced before. For instance, instead of being open 24 hours, Walmart continues to close at 11 or 12 am everyday and that’s a problem for folks who have the midnight munchies(me included), but that’s not the point. Dating is hard. Being a relationship is hard. Give yourself the time and the grace to keep doing this not so easy task of getting through life. Yes, I understand that every five seconds, TikTok is pushing Valentine’s Day content along with the algorithm loving couples content, but I want whoever that’s reading this to remember that the love that you have for yourself is more important than the love you THINK someone else can give you. Even though this is a really popular cliche, ” If you don’t love yourself, you can’t love nobody else.” Is a very true and timeless statement. For example, if you are still healing from individuals from the past an or actions that you have done in the past, how on earth are you going to invest the good vibes into the individual you think is your person! You cannot!
If you are feeling that seasonal depression that is often associated with February due to reasons such as Black History Month, a month where the tragedy and triumph of black individuals are often highlighted and heavily discussed, which can be very heavy conversations( but I’ll save that for another article), however, Valentine’s is also a heavy holiday to discuss due to the matter that a-lot of individuals associated “love” to a-lot of toxic things
With all of that being said, I want you all to keep your head ups during this “season of love,” because in all actuality, self love and interpersonal love is demonstrated beyond a single day in February. Self love is needed and vital, so don’t ever look at your season of “singleness” as a bad thing, it is a gift that we should appreciate more often because you only get one life to love yourself to the fullest!
Until next time besties……
-M<3