I recently just saw some friends from high school get engaged. I wish them only the best. Here’s the thing though, they’re not the first couple that I’ve seen get engaged right out of high school into college. Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems more and more people are getting engaged and married right out of high school and not waiting till the end of college.
Now I don’t want to make assumptions about any relationship, but the thing is, college can be some of the most influential years of your life. When you’re being exposed to so many different backgrounds and new people and perspectives. Change is only bound to happen. When you’ve only been with one person for pretty much your teenage and early adulthood life, how do you make sure you know who you are? High school relationships can be defined as the primary person in the relationship and sometimes people even group them together as one person because that’s just easter. How do you learn your identity and what you believe in?
The biggest thing about a relationship is that you grow together with someone, but that also means you as a person need to grow as well. When you’re making a commitment, such as marriage, there are things you are also giving up to be with your spouse. It is supper important that you don’t lose yourself in a relationship to the point where if you looked in the mirror and didn’t recognize yourself, you’d be okay with that. The fact is, being in your early twenties is hard to begin with. You’re figuring out jobs, relationships, friendships and trying to find a balance for it all. To then, plan a wedding and get married in that same time frame is truly a lot. How can you be sure that this person you’ve spent most of your influential time with is the person for you? Or could they offer a blanket of security that you don’t want to disturb?
Change is hard, it will never be easy. Change means a new routine and a new way of doing things potentially. Ultimately a big change someone could ever make is to marry someone. You are committing to your partner in a lot of different ways. Being able to understand that at such a young age is really important to make a marriage work. The biggest thing about getting married young is that there are certain things in life that will be different from where your other friends are at in their life.
Being in a relationship already means sacrificing some things and being in a marriage means that those really come to the forefront. Getting married young also brings about how financially stable you and your partner are and what life goals each of you has. Getting your first taste of independence at eighteen to then being married by 20 and commitment to this person is a huge step. The icing on the cake is that it also costs money to get divorced.
The biggest takeaway from this is to be certain that this is the person you want to spend your life with. Be certain that you know who you are and what you want. Don’t decide to marry someone because it’s the safe option. Marry someone because you want to spend every single day falling in love with them over and over again.