I could definitely tell something was going downhill, as communicating between us was slipping as he got more engrossed within his work schedule. At times, he would actually spend the majority of our facetime calls talking with his teammates on Call Of Duty (how freaking rude ya know). Eventually, he was the one who decided to send the devastating breakup text. The main reason for our breakup was because of how busy he had become. Honestly, it sounded like a big cop-out, and all of my friends agreed.
At first, I was devastated. Crushed. D e f e a t e d. I only got out of bed to go to work and the only reason I ate was that I got free pizza from the place I worked at. I was a complete mess because the main reason I was so excited to return to school was gone. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I wanted to celebrate his birthday with him, finally meet his mother for the first time and potentially spend the holidays together. All of those fun daydreams were literally squashed the moment he sent that text, and I wasn’t sure how to cope with that really deep uncomfy pit in my chest. Soon enough, literally one day into moving into my college dorm I was downright and uncontrollably sobbing to my friend over discord about how much I missed him, and how I couldn’t stop looking at his Snapchat location to see if he was with other girls.
I’ll tell you the first thing I did that helped me get over this man: get you some good ass friends (who actually see your worth and value you!). For a whole week until classes started, I hung out with two of my best friends who made me feel important and included (and also talked shit about my ex to make me feel better). In all honesty, they made me realize my worth and potential, and that I shouldn’t let someone who didn’t value my time or rarely bothered to make time for me to be the same person that I give all my effort and attention to. This was the first step in learning how to love me a little bit more.
Self-love is definitely most easy and for sure not something I’ve mastered even a fraction of a bit. My first step was finding confidence through the right friends. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve called myself “weird” or a “failure” because of simple mistakes throughout my life. Having other people, like actual positive friends who you benefit having a relationship with, can open up a new perspective of yourself so that the only opinion of yourself you’re listening to isn’t only the one in your head.
Next up is self-love, baby. I’m not saying this as if it’s an easy thing and I love every little thing about myself, but you need to start somewhere: with appreciation. Of course, we have weaknesses. With that said, however, we have just as many strengths. These make us unique and stand out amongst others. It’s these strengths that we need to focus on and learn to love that will help you stop comparing yourself to others. Your strengths deserve worth, so treat them that way. Or in other words, treat yourself like you would a close friend. For example, you’d never make them feel so alone and horrible about themselves that they become so unmotivated to associate with the real world, would you? At least I’d hope not.
There are many tips but this is how I’m starting my journey: self-love and focusing on my strengths. Ultimately there are definitely going to be days where I feel like a family-sized bag of stale Lays chips, but those days will pass with time (as unfortunate as it is to say with my impatient ass). Please keep in mind that growth isn’t a perfectly straight positive slope; it’s got some ups and downs and that’s totally fine, embrace it as part of the process. Besides, at the end of the day, you’re your best friend, and surely know yourself better than anyone else could.