Ever since I was little, I’ve always had a problem with my weight. I would always get “disgusting” looks from people around me. People, such as my doctor, would look at me and tell me to lose weight and that I would look better skinny. People in my own family used to make fun of the way that I looked because it didn’t fit the norm that they saw. They even went as far as to sit there and compare me to all of my friends and cousins that looked skinnier than I did. It did horrible things to my self-esteem, and it drove me to stop eating junk foods, consuming carbs, etc. To this day, I don’t really like shopping for new clothes because I don’t like looking at sizes on the different racks. It pulls me back into this cycle of looking at myself as “ugly” or calling myself “fat.”
It wasn’t until I came to my freshman year of college that I finally realized that having a stomach or having weight around parts of my body that I didn’t like was okay. I looked around me and saw that everyone looked different, had different body types, and that what they looked like shouldn’t be what I looked like, because that might not be healthy for my body type. So slowly but surely, I started to wear crop tops and jeans again because those are articles of clothing that made me feel confident in what I looked like. I started to not care what other people thought about the way that I looked. As long as I am not hurting them, they should not care.
Weight is something that fluctuates, and that is okay. Body type and weight are not a “one size fits all” idea. Things change, and circumstances can cause changes in the internal numbers of the body. As long as I’m healthy, it should not matter what I look like.
So. this is me reclaiming my body. I can wear whatever I want, and now after 10 years, I now know that my weight does not define me. It never has and it never will. My weight doesn’t define me or my worth because it is just a number. A number that will change from season to season but will never change my worth.
To anyone reading this, just know that no matter what, your weight is just a number. It will always be just a number. And it is not something that can define your worth or your character. You are so much more than that. You are kind, funny, and caring. You want to change the world and show them that you are a strong person that doesn’t let the words of the world get to you. You are so much more than a number. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I promise you are so much more than you think. You are going to do so much in the world that is not dependent on your weight.