My definition of a love language is a way in which you can express gratitude towards others and yourself. There are five “official” love languages which include: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and physical touch. While all of these are important to take into consideration for loved ones, it is even more important to prioritize taking care of you first. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup! Here’s how you can incorporate all of the love languages into your daily experiences:
Words of Affirmation: Things you say to reassure yourself that you are worthy and deserving of amazing things
- Hype yourself up: I know it may seem weird, but talking to yourself can be more effective than it seems. Whether it be posting positive statement sticky notes on your mirror or just thinking in your head as you walk to class, speaking highly of yourself is a must and is guaranteed to give you a confidence boost like no other. Here are a few examples of affirmations I would tell myself:
- I am beautifully and wonderfully made, flaws and all.
- I have the tools necessary to ensure my success and will execute plans effectively.
- What’s for me is for me, and will not pass me by.
- I don’t chase, I attract.
- Try Journaling: I love to get my thoughts out on paper. Sometimes it’s hard to properly articulate yourself when you’re emotional, so journaling is perfect for a good brain dump. You’re able to say exactly how you feel without limitations.
- Meditate: There are plenty of self care and meditation apps out there. Utilize those that give you the option to set up affirmation reminders so you’re able to view them throughout the day!
Quality Time: Carve out space in your schedule solely for you
- Take yourself out on a date: Yes, I said take yourself out! This is another one of those things that may seem awkward at first but please understand that you do not have to wait for someone else to join to have a nice time. You could try a simple approach like setting up a picnic at the park or go all out and treat yourself to dinner at a five star restaurant.
- Give yourself grace: As a college student myself I know exhaustion all too well, as most of us do. Stop and breathe. Take a few minutes out of your day to do nothing but relax. Binge on social media, grab a bite to eat, anything you want. Oftentimes, we work ourselves into the ground and towards the quick and steady road to burnout. Pacing yourself and understanding that it is okay to take a break from the elements of life is everything.
Acts of Service: Tasks you do for your own benefit
- Get organized: Set up those appointments and meetings you’ve been putting off, or think about implementing a planner or visual mapping method to improve your time management. Try decluttering your living space or cleaning the inside of your car and take note of how you feel after! I always feel so much more at ease when I’m in a clean and clear space, not only physically but mentally as well.
- Do something nice for yourself that you normally don’t do: Buy yourself flowers, take a relaxing drive, go on a walk, there are no rules here!
Receiving Gifts : Accepting and appreciating items you give yourself, really take time to indulge in the luxuries you grant yourself
- SPLURGE (responsibly of course): Take yourself on a shopping spree! Reward yourself for the hard work you do on a daily basis, but also just because life is hard and you deserve a little retail therapy.
- Get out of your normal environment: Gifts don’t have to be super expensive or store bought. Gift yourself the opportunity to live outside of your everyday routine! Take a roundtrip with friends to another state, or buy tickets to a play you’ve been wanting to see on the other side of town. Getting outside of your traditional experiences is nice and can expose you to perspectives you may not have otherwise explored.
Physical Touch : Doing things that provide relief to your senses
- Create a skin and body care routine customized to your preferences: Try out new scrubs, face masks, or products you’ve heard are good. I love watching these kinds of videos on TikTok and YouTube, they always give me the best recommendations.
- Get active: Try moving your body everyday, even if just for a few minutes! Dance around in your room, hit the gym to get your day started, go to a yoga class, whatever works best for what you need at the time.
- Utilize your comfy essentials: Curl up in bed with your favorite sheets and a fluffy blanket for an evening Netflix binge! Wear what makes your body feel good. I know I love a good sweatpants and hoodie combo! Wear clothing that feels good on your skin and makes you feel confident!
Overall, integrating each love language into your daily routine may seem a bit intimidating but the gestures don’t have to be grand. You could start small and build habits slowly or try taking care of yourself in a new way each week. The goal is to emphasize self love not just because of your physical appearance, but because you know who you are internally. Nobody else can validate your existence on Earth. You are the center of your own universe.