As if you are not enough
-and other poems for the heart and mind of an overachiever-
I see you try
Try to be enough
All the time
Never-ending
NEVER
ENDING
The countless nights spent pouring over pages and pages of words you hope to one day understand to such full completion that you can finally rest
Trying to be enough
I see the hundreds of hours in school, clubs, social events, relationships, family, work, community, and sometimes even in yourself
Trying to be enough
The awaiting checklist the boxes and blank lines waiting to be filled, waiting for you to cross off everything but there is always more
Never-ending
Never enough
Never enough for who?
For your parents?
For your teacher?
For society?
For you?
Still, you keep trying, never stopping, do not rest it will make you useless
Not productive
Not helpful
Just a burden on everyone around you
So you try to make sure none of your friends ever have any issue with you, that your mom is always proud of you, that you help your partner every single chance you get even if you know you do not have time
Trying to be useful
Trying to be enough
You do all this…
As if you are not already enough
As if you are not enough…
You
Are
ENOUGH
Slipping
-the journey-
I am falling
I can’t catch myself
Wait! What is below me
It is possible to just stand still…unmoving
It is possible that I can make it through all this
No, no, no I can not fall everyone will laugh, will see
I thrash all around desperate to grab onto something
There is nothing
I slip
I fall
I sit unmoving, still finally
The fall was not so bad
There was no laughter just a small thud
No one even saw, they barely noticed
I simply moved from being in one position to another
I can see clearly the things that tripped me, that caused me to slip
Now that I am on the ground the hazards all around me are so obvious
I sit there looking at where I went wrong, and how I could have done better
I know that I can try again, that I can do it
I get up
I try again
I keep going
…Onward
In conclusion
-rest-
Finally the end
The conclusion of it all
I sink into what seems like eternal bliss, wishing to stay here forever
Holding on to the hope that it can always be like this, all of the time
A large warm meal, at the end of the day
Letting the light touch my skin, warming me
The breeze flowed through my hair, gently holding me
The water flows over me, cleansing every small portion of my body
As I propel downward surrounded by comfort on every side
I lay my head down and close my eyes I feel my muscles relax one by one
Peace moves through my whole being
There is tranquility
In a conclusion