The holidays can be pretty brutal when you’re single. As college students, we always get pelted with the same questions every year. “How’s school going?” “What are you planning to do after you graduate?” and the dreaded “Are you seeing anyone?”
However, it seems like my family members are more interested in my love life than my academic career. My singleness has even become an ongoing joke in the family. My grandpa repeatedly asks every year, “So when is your boyfriend showing up?” to which I have finally come up with the [appropriate] clever response that my boyfriend will show up when his does too.
One thing I can’t seem to wrap my head around is why it is expected of me to have a steady, adult relationship with the intent of settling down at twenty years old. I’ve only been out of high school for a few years and can barely even figure out how my credit card works, much less how to coexist and be interdependent with another human being.
I’m young. I’m still reckless and stupid at times, and I have a million more mistakes to make before I want to even think about binding myself to another person.
There is so much that I want to do, so many places that I want to see, and a thousand people I could meet before I find “the one.” The thought of being tied down at my age is absolutely terrifying. Of course, I don’t have to marry the next guy I have a serious relationship with, but let’s not pretend that that relationships don’t come with some restrictions.
I may wake up one day and decide I want to do mission work in Argentina, or make a documentary where I travel the world, or catch my lucky break and go on tour with my favorite band (I did say lucky). If I’m in a relationship simply because it’s expected of me at this age, will I pick up and leave everything to take advantage of what this world has to offer me? Probably not.
Of course, if you find the one whose soul is made of the same fabric as yours, don’t let it pass you by simply because you don’t want to adhere to a social construct. Everyone will find their person in their own time and in their own way.
Even if you decide to pick up and chase after your dreams halfway across the world or even just across the state, you may be able to make it work because that’s what you do when you love another person– you compromise and find a solution that you both can live with.
But I’m not worried about that. I’m not concerned with finding “the one” because I know he will come along when the time is right. I can pine and worry and search for the perfect man to no avail, but it will all be in vain. Why? Because God has handpicked the right man for me—has molded him for me, and I for him. Sometimes the kneading process takes longer than we may like, but it’s all worth it in the end. I will wait for the love of my life to be ready and he will do the same for me.
When Mr. Right decides to reveal himself, then I will start to think about settling down. But, until then, I will not search, but live my life fully and with purpose. Until then, I will allocate every resource our astounding planet has to offer. I plan to have some amazing stories of a beautiful, single life to share with my soulmate when he finally comes along.
It’s a good life, Collegiettes. Take advantage of it.