It seems like everywhere I go, someone is asking me, “What are you doing after graduation?” As if I’m not already dreading leaving this wonderful place, I’m constantly being forced to pretend that I’m not freaking out about my future. If you’re a senior, fending off post-grad questions has become a hobby, so here are ten things every senior would love to hear right about now:
1. “Hey, can I offer you this amazing full time job with a killer salary? Don’t worry, you can start in September.”
2. “Moving back home after college is fun! Your mom will definitely stop ordering in every other night and make your favorite home cooked meals.”
3. “Post-grad life rocks!”
4. “Why don’t you just stay in school another year or seven, I’ll pay your tuition.”
5. “It’s still acceptable to wear your sorority clothes and sweatpants everyday after graduation!”
6. “You can totally get away with doing absolutely nothing productive on a Friday because you’re so hungover.”
7. “$2.25 rail mixers are still a thing.” (Thank you Johnny O’s)
8. “Wedding season is totally going to be like formal all over again!”
9. “There’s always an excuse to eat pizza at 2AM.”
10. “I found this awesome apartment in the best location, and guess what, it’s free!”
A bit of advice seniors, if you don’t want to be reminded that the end is near, avoid the bookstore! They have a lovely count down front and center.