13 Reasons Why – Did it go too far?

High school was four of the most difficult years of our lives. For many of us, high school was drama-filled, and social media certainly doesn’t make that any easier. This is something our parents could not really ever understand; even when we are home, we are so closely intertwined with that world around through our cell phones so there’s no break from criticism. The new Netflix series 13 Reasons Why, based on the book by Jay Asher, tackles what can happen when it all becomes too much. The show starts on the premise that Hannah, a beautiful 17-year-old girl, has committed suicide, yet her voice remains loud and clear after death. How? Hannah leaves behind tapes, recording the 13 reasons that contributed to her decision to take her own life. Sound dark? It is, but there’s something to be learned from this. Warning: major spoilers ahead.

I have never read the book and, I have to admit, before watching the show my expectations were low. Advertised as a show for young adults, I assumed the acting would be bad, the situation would be unrealistic, and the moral would hit you over the head every chance it got. I also worried that since the show is based on the lives of high school students, it would feel too young. However, this was not the experience I had while watching the show. The show was extremely dark and shied away from nothing – and I mean nothing. From bullying to sexuality, to rape, drug abuse, and suicide, this is not a show to watch when you’re looking to unwind and de-stress. And we see it all through the eyes of the sweet, innocent guy Clay.

While Clay’s role in Hannah’s passing was ultimately very small – he wasn’t there when she needed him – the rest of Hannah’s acquaintances didn’t get off as easy. Hannah was not only bullied, such as when Justin passed around a revealing picture of her or when Zach stole the compliments out of her bag, she was stalked and raped. The stalking, done by Tyler, the school photographer, took creepy to the next level. Her privacy was invaded and he fired back at her by releasing a picture of her drunken kiss with Courtney. But the rape was like nothing I have seen on TV before. This was the biggest bombshell of them all and it wasn’t even the only rape in the series. Yes, you read that right. Not only was Hannah raped by Bryce, but Jessica was too. Bryce assaulted Jessica while she was passed out drunk and then later attacked Hannah at his house. These scenes were graphic; the show recorded the whole thing and we watch as Hannah moves from struggling to get away to going completely numb. It was not only realistic, it was haunting. Bryce’s character showed that without consequences people will continue to act in these heinous ways. We must speak up.  

There was a lot that Hannah went through, and I know I didn’t hit it all, but it was a lot. Hannah’s story was heartbreaking; all that she endured in just two years at her high school was crazy, yet somehow resonated as realistic. So much happens in high school, and the show hit the nail on the head on how one small thing can affect your reputation forever. Hannah’s pain, however, went completely unnoticed by everyone around her, suffering in silence when she needed people the most. Hannah said at one point that what she was feeling “looks like nothing” and that’s an extremely important point of this entire show – you can’t always see other people’s suffering, and you definitely won’t always recognize the signs that someone is contemplating harming themselves.

All this in mind, would I recommend the show? This is where it gets tricky.

There’s one very graphic scene that I haven’t yet mentioned, and that is Hannah’s suicide. You would think that showing her grabbing the razors and preparing to commit suicide would be enough to get the point across but they took it a step further. The show had already made me feel, it had already made me think. But the suicide scene, which graphically showed Hannah actually cutting her wrists, then kept the camera on her as her breath quickened and slowed was not only haunting, it was disturbing. In the “Beyond the Reasons” episode, the producers explain that they wanted it to be painful to watch and to reveal that suicide isn’t a pretty death. And surely they achieved this… but at what cost? The show’s overall aim was to show how good it is to help people, to make an effort to lift others’ spirits, but this scene went too far in my opinion. It was so upsetting that I was distracted from the rest of the episode. I’m a pretty tough person, but this scene shook me to my core and knocked the wind out of me. I get this is the point, but it could have affected others in an even more severe way. 

This wasn’t my only issue with the show. I know Hannah wasn’t perfect, but her tapes felt very vindictive at points and they actually caused a significant amount more bullying. You would think the show would focus solely on opening the eyes of these people who influenced her death to show them their actions and the harm they had, but it actually caused more violence and tragedy. In the end, Alex shoots himself in the head and Tyler appears to be planning a mass shooting. This left me wondering, when does the cycle end? Even with Clay going to Skye at the end in an attempt to step in and be there for her, he and all the other people missed the signs with these two other characters, and it left me unsettled about what really can be done.

Maybe that’s the real point of the show though, to unsettle you and make you think of even your smallest actions. While there were some things that didn’t sit well with me at the end, 13 Reasons Why most definitely hit home and got me thinking about my impact on this world. At one point, one of the characters said that “nothing that happened to Hannah was any different than what happens to every girl at every high school” and this is an upsetting statement. We women have to stand together and lift each other up, not tear each other down. We have to be aware every day that everything we do has a ripple effect on those around us. Someone can be putting on a brave face and be suffering in private, so be aware and be caring. I hope, if anything, you learn from this show the important of practicing kindness. 

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