A wise woman named Cady Heron once said, “In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.” This may be true (ladies, no shame) but what about the boys? This is also the one day a year when they can show off their creativity (or lack there-of) to the rest of the world. We’ve decided to decode some common boys costumes and what they really mean.
1. The “My girlfriend picked this out for me.”
This guy is probably whipped. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the couple/group costume if appropriate and funny. For example, if one member of the couple is an outlet and the other is a plug-in, that’s funny. But if you see a guy dressed up as the Romeo to her Juliet, I can guarantee that was not his idea and those tights are hugging in all the wrong places.
2. The Bros Before Hoes.
This guy is most likely in a fraternity and spends 99.9% of his free time with his bros. Friday night date-night is spent playing Halo or FIFA or some other video game that I know absolutely nothing about. It is a very good possibility that said group costume is from one of said video games that no one will recognize other than other similar bro groups.
3. The NSFW
We all know that guy. The one who sat down to think of the most inappropriate costume possible. If your mom saw the picture she would be disappointed. It may be funny to a point, but also SO unnecessary. Case in point, this guy is probably a douche bag and will be drunk on Busch Lite. By 8pm. The day before Halloween.
4. The Authority Figure
All guys have figured out by now that for the most part, girls love a man in a uniform. Therefore, these guys are trying to get some action. Police officer, firefighter, Navy Seal, etc. These can be great go-to costumes except when they try to look like Mr. October in next year’s calendar. Boys, put away your white thighs because no one wants to see them.
5. The Non-Costume
This guy doesn’t care about Halloween and thinks that dressing up is stupid and a waste of time. He just wants to party and get drunk. When asked what he’s dressed as he will probably answer, “myself.” This is more than likely some sort of social statement about the conformity of dressing up for holidays. Don’t argue, just grab him a sombrero and call it a night.
Ladies, keep an eye out this Halloween for the best, worst, and in-between when it comes to boys’ costumes. Maybe this year you’ll even find someone to be the peanut butter to your jelly. The Danny Zuko to your Sandy. The Chuck Bass to your Blair…a girl can dream, right?