According to a study by the University of Houston, 60 to 80 percent of North American college students have had a hookup, even though 63 percent of college men and 83 percent of college women said they would prefer a traditional relationship. So, why is the reality so different from what people actually want? How is “modern” love so different than “traditional” love?
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1. Hookup Culture
One of the biggest differences between “modern” and “traditional” love is hookup culture. It has almost entirely replaced dating, especially on college campuses. From one-night stands to friends with benefits, there’s no lack of casual encounters on any given college campus. These “no strings attached” relationships lack emotional bonding, long-term commitment and other building blocks that lead to long-term relationships.
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2. Denial
People have stopped expecting dates and looking for relationships. I think it’s safe to say that almost everyone has tried to take something casual to the next level — only to make things go south from there. You try to convince yourself that you don’t want a relationship, and you start to accept the ideologies behind hookup culture. Just like that, you’re swept up into this modern love.
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3. Social Stigmas
As much as we hate to admit it, there’s a difference in how most girls and guys view relationships. Things might be going great between you and bae, but as soon as things start to get more serious, boys sometimes dip out. They sometimes even ghost you and act like nothing ever happened. When our parents were our age, guys enjoyed the courtship experience; now, it is considered a taboo idea.
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4. The American Dream
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The American dream is changing. Our parents grew up dreaming of a future with a white picket fence and kids; but times have changed. People are getting married later and having kids less often. People now tend to focus more on themselves and their careers than on marriage and family.
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5. Feminism
Girls have started to realize that they don’t need a man who isn’t 100 percent right for them. In the past, many women felt like they needed to find a man to marry in order to secure their future. Now, we now realize that we are the future — and we do not need a man to make it. We know our worth, so why settle for Brad in Sigma Apple Pie who’s seeing five other girls?
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6. Dating Apps
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Whereas our parents would have had to go somewhere to meet people, we can do it from our phones, anytime and anywhere. At this point, it’s almost too easy to find someone, and that sometimes makes traditional dating seem unnecessary.
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If more than half of us are looking for relationships, we should start to go back to the basics. Go on an actual date; go to the movies and not just “Netflix and chill.” Don’t be afraid to take things to the next level with someone; if your significant other doesn’t want to, they might not be the one for you.