Balancing Optimism and Realism

The difference between self-conviction and cockiness

Optimism means choosing to believe that there is goodness all around us. The old phrase, “stop and smell the roses” is so cliché, but it’s genuinely how I try to live my life. There’s just so much goodness to be found everywhere. Someone drops their water bottle on the sidewalk and a complete stranger picks it up for them. The sun shining on the lake makes it look extra sparkly one morning. Your Starbucks barista draws a smiley face on your cup. I could keep going and going, because though the world can be a dark and depressing place to live in sometimes, these small things are what remind you that not all hope is lost. 

The tricky thing when it comes to being an optimist is balancing this upbeat attitude with realism. The pessimist’s fallback when facing critique, realism can be quite the reality check for an over-the-top optimist. It’s important to keep yourself from getting lost in the world of relentless buoyancy because doing so can have serious consequences for which you’re ill-prepared. 

This was explained well to me once, and it’s an example I would like to share with you. 

Imagine you have a stressful exam coming up – maybe a final in a really tough class, something that could make or break your grade. An optimist (like myself) would default to putting themselves in a positive headspace before this exam, maybe using self-talk to hype themselves up. After all, confidence is key. However, take this confidence too far, and suddenly, studying doesn’t seem quite as important. Your self-assuredness can backfire, replacing the urge you once had to master the topics on the exam. In short, you need to strike a balance between self-conviction and cockiness. 

If you’re anything like me, you find it easy to get caught up in this spiraling mindset of oblivious cheer. Of course, this is a valuable trait to possess. Being optimistic brings joy into your life, as well as the lives of others you care about. The trick, however, is to remain close enough to earth to recognize when realism needs to come into play. Are you really going to ace that test without cracking a book? Hey, maybe you’re a secret biology genius. But probably not. 

There are so many who are quick to assume that a bubbly personality has a direct connection to naïveté. This isn’t always the case, and giving thought to realism is a great way to combat this misconception. If you’re a fellow optimist, I encourage you to take stock of how you’re handling tough situations, because assuming everything will turn out fine will more often than not lead to things being… not so fine. Make sure to take some realistic steps every once in a while. Then you’ll enjoy the little things that much more.

• balance
• confidence
• Optimism
• realism