What I learned from the end of an era
My junior year of high school, I made my best friend. It was the first time in my life that I felt completely seen and completely accepted. We even used to say we were platonic soulmates. Anyone who can relate to this feeling knows the joy and love that comes with such a friend, and they also know that you will do anything to keep from losing such a precious relationship. I would have done anything for my best friend. But that was then.
I thought going to the same college would be a blessing, and you know what, it was. My social skills are best described as “rusty,” and lord knows I am not smooth. So having a built-in support system was critical for me. I am so grateful for the way she always had my back and always built me up. But by our sophomore year it was all over. Suddenly we just weren’t friends anymore and it absolutely broke my heart. I missed her with every fiber of my being and for a while it was all I could think about.
What I didn’t realize was that even though it hurt, the end of this friendship was exactly what I needed. I had been so excited to have a best friend that I became shockingly codependent. More importantly, I lost myself. I didn’t know who I was when I wasn’t her best friend and as someone who was also incredibly independent, this terrified me. Almost a year later, I have been able to rediscover myself and learn to love myself. Sure, I am anxious, workaholic, perfectionist, but I am also adventurous, compassionate and hilarious. Maybe this all sounds a bit self-centered but for me it is the result of a year of self-exploration.
Another thing I discovered was that I had so many wonderful people in my life. Frankly, I neglected my other friendships during this three-year period, which is really my only regret about my best friendship. The support I received from countless friends when I was feeling incredibly sad and broken opened my eyes to how lucky I really was. Additionally, I felt immensely isolated after losing my best friend, so I set a goal to make one new friend during the semester, which for me was no small task. I ended up meeting one of my new closest friends who I couldn’t imagine not being in my life. If my friendship hadn’t ended, I would have missed out on countless memories with people I can never do just with words.
When it comes down to it, I hope that you have or will have a friendship as wonderful as I did. I also hope your friendship doesn’t end the way mine did. But when I take a moment to think about it, I am so incredibly grateful that it did end. I learned lessons that I need to learn to become a better, happier person. The end of this era of friendship allowed me to find myself. And not to brag, but I am pretty awesome. It also opened my eyes to all the other wonderful people in my life, and that is something I wouldn’t trade for the world.
I would say my reason for sharing this story is to let you know that everything happens for a reason. In life you are going to experience many hard things, like the end of an important relationship. I am here to tell you that it is okay. Sometimes, we need to experience the hard things to end up where we were meant to be all along. I want you to know that you are always strong enough to make it through and that things will always get better.