Facebook pictures just can’t do all the justice of the logistics behind a Badger game. Here’s what really goes through a badger’s head every Saturday.
Alarm goes off at 7 a.m. Feelin’ good, ready to rage.
9 o’clock hits and you’re a few drinks in. Still going strong, pictures are still acceptable.
Luckily by 10:00, you safely (?) make it out of the door to the first tailgate of the day. From here on in you’d rather not be caught in any pictures…or in public…or by your ex.
Shotgun after shotgun and you’ve lost track of time, eyesight, phone and most likely your dignity.
By 2ish, hopefully you’ve attempted to make it to the next tailgate. Little do you realize that the elevated surface you find yourself standing on is unexpectedly much more dangerous than it was 3 hours prior.
The games begun and the last thing you want to do is slur an argument to the KK bouncer of why you shouldn’t have to wait in the 45-minute line like everybody else.
Those hunger pains you’ve been drinking away suddenly cannot be suppressed any longer. You are on a mission to get to Chipotle and NOTHING is in your way.
As the line for Chipotle seems longer than that to get into Camp Randall, alcohol leaves you no choice but to take a quick snooze before eating.
G-d knows how, hours later you wake up in (hopefully) your own bed, belligerently drunk, craving the soggy Chipotle bowl chilling on your floor.
…And that’s how a real Badger does a game day. No regrets. Just maybe guac on the side.