For those of you who don’t know, SERF= Southeast Recreational Facility, and it’s the building of sweat and smells that UW gym rats call home…not a place to hang ten. And while the hotbox of cardio lovers and bodybuilders can often be confusing to the newbie, there are things that all of us still question.
1. The most obvious to all….where the f**k are the elevators?! Your workout in the Serf begins way before the treadmill. Whoever thought to have us climb (and subsequently crawl) up endless flights of stairs to get to the cardio room was way too ambitious. Do us a favor and put in an elevator.
2. Febreeze anyone? I know it’s nice to sweat and all, but seriously, the stench is not motivating. Whether it’s your first time at the Serf, or your third time that day, the stuffy smell of body odor never stops.
3. All I need in this life of sin is a map. For the first timers at the Serf, it’s definitely difficult to figure out. With a million and one flights of stairs between each floor, the going gets tough and the tough eventually find their way. Cardio lovers: upstairs, bodybuilders: downstairs.
4. Shirts vs. skins: this is a tip for the girls making their way up to the cardio room…ALWAYS check out the courts on the second floor.
5. Sooo is the weight room co-ed? Contrary to popular belief, girls tend to kickass in the Serf weight room. Unlike the boys who crowd by the door to grab the attention of every person walking in, women in the weight room learn to play it cool. If you can squat, plank or lift, have no fear, the weight room is here, and it is open to all.
6. Shotty the elliptical in the back right closest to the door. I know you want it, but you can’t always have it. The plus side to a factory of people killing their cardio, you’re not the only sweaty person to stare at. The downside, you are never guaranteed “your machine.”
7. When you’re in the Serf, you’re basically incognito. The best part about the campuses’ sweatbox is the guarantee that everyone will leave you alone. Although you may feel watched, you definitely won’t be approached. It’s the place where game faces are on, and everyone is on a mission.
8. The golden rule: 30 minutes on a machine. You may be that person that could run for days, but please don’t, especially during primetime. With barely anyone in the cardio room, you can get away with it, but they have lame signup sheets that nobody uses. Don’t make someone use it.
9. Locker rooms are not sanitary. Although it would seem like a good idea to workout and shower at the Serf before class, it’s not. I’ve seen a total of one person showering in my days at the Serf, and her lack of flip-flops threw me way off.
10. Sweat is good for the soul and for your body. Even though you may not look your best, you certainly look like a badass when you sweat after a great workout. If you’re walking out looking fresh and clean, you look like you came for social hour.
The first few visits to the SERF may be intimidating, but remember that you’re there for a workout…and maybe to meet some cute guys in great shape.