Roommate (noun): either your best friend or your worst enemy.
Personally, one of the most exciting parts of college has been the friendships I allowed myself to make. And while having good roommates truly strengthens that experience, having a bad roommate can also sometimes leave you feeling in a sour mood constantly. If you find yourself feeling like you can no longer live with your roommate, here are some healthy suggestions to make your situation better.
1. Step away from the idea that you have to be best friends.
Most people get the impression that they will become best friends with their roommate when they move into college. Some people will find that their roommate to be their best, and some will definitely not. Get over the idea that you have to be best friends with your roommate. You’ll feel much better when you stop trying to force the friendship and accept the relationship for what it is.
2. Join clubs.
When I realized that I no longer enjoy the company of my roommate, I just joined a couple of clubs— it was that simple. I found people who are more interested in the things that I am and started spending less time being cooped up with my roommate. The time away was healthy and made dealing with her a little more tolerable.
3. Don’t be passive aggressive.
Sure, the thought of leaving little sticky notes everywhere she has left a mess seems tempting, but people get more ticked off over passive aggressive sticky notes than they do over respectful conversations. More often than not, talking out the situation will leave you feeling a lot better than leaving sticky notes.
4. Don’t blame everything on her.
Sure, she might not feel the same way as you about your living situation, but realize that she, too, could have issues with you. Just remember, no one is perfect.
5. Don’t let your annoyance show.
She might not know that you don’t really like her; she may even be under the impression that you guys are pretty good friends. While this idea may drive you crazy, just go with it. Trust me, it’s a having a roommate who enjoys your presence is much better than having a roommate who doesn’t even speak to you.
6. Always be the bigger person.
It’s hard to keep your cool when you’re constantly with a person you don’t like. Just remember that we are in college and are supposed to be acting like mature adults. It’s a lot better to keep your feelings pent up when you are around her— save the venting for the next time you call your mom or your BFF.
7. Just remember—it doesn’t last forever.
Chances are, she’s your freshman year roommate. You may feel increasingly annoyed feeling that you’re never going to get out of the tiny room you guys have to share. Hopefully, you have discovered that you and her are not compatible and will no longer be living together after the year is over. While it may seem rocky right now, just remember that you only have to tough it out for a temporary period of time.
While having a roommate that you don’t get along with can be frustrating, just remember that it isn’t forever. This campus provides endless opportunities to get out and do fun and exciting things that allow you to get away from your roommate. If there’s anything I’ve learned about having an incompatible roommate, it’s that it’s always better to kill them with kindness. No matter how much someone upsets you, you’ll always feel like the better and stronger person if you aren’t constantly trying to tear them down. Just keep smiling; regardless of how the roommate situation holds out, these are and will be some of the best years of your life!