How It Feels To Be 21

Is it all rainbows and butterflies?

Turning 21 is a bittersweet moment. On one hand, you’re saying goodbye to your childhood, and on the other hand, you’re entering an era of adulthood. It’s a balance between a happy ending and a nerve-racking new chapter in your life. 

In the days before my birthday, I was nostalgic and sad about turning 21. The sound of “twenty-one” felt so OLD. I was mortified. When you’re 20, people still think you’re a ‘dumb teen’ or a ‘reckless young adult,’ but when you say you’re 21, people generally group you with the adults. I didn’t want to be seen as an adult, because that meant my life was about to get a lot harder, more stressful, less fun, and more boring. I still felt like a teen, so I didn’t want to let that idea go.

Leaving behind your childhood is hard. It’s nostalgic to reflect on your memories of growing up and realize you’ll never be back there again. The lack of responsibilities, not being exposed to issues around you, and viewing life with curiosity are all things I’ll miss about childhood. Nonetheless, the time has come to move on and continue evolving in life. 

I know I’m complaining a lot, and many people are excited to turn 21 because they’re finally legal. However, I didn’t have this outlook. This might be cheesy, but I decided to write my future self a letter. I described where I currently am in my life, why I’m struggling with turning 21, and my hopes for the future. This really helped me process what I was feeling by getting it out on paper. After I wrote this letter, I realized that I was actually excited to turn 21. Writing this letter helped me leave behind my feelings of dread, replacing them with anticipation and excitement. 

Now that I’m 21, I feel differently. I’m happy to be 21 and so far I’m enjoying it. I’m happy to say that I had a ton of fun on the day of my 21st and enjoyed celebrating with my friends. Obviously, my journey to accepting my birthday this year was longer than most years. But now that I’m 21, I’ve realized that I love being 21. 

There have been a few instances where I randomly feel the joy of being 21. I was at the movie theater with my friends to watch Don’t Worry Darling, and at the food counter, they had themed alcoholic drinks for each movie. I thought to myself, “oh it would be so fun to get one of those drinks, but I’m not 21, so I can’t,” and then suddenly I realized, “oh wait, I am 21!” Small moments like this make 21 finally feel satisfying and freeing. It feels like you’re finally allowed to do anything you want, whenever you want to. 

So, if you’re like me, and you’re dreading turning 21, it’s really not as bad as you think. Even though the thought of it might be scary, it comes with a lot of perks as well, and hey, next year I’ll be able to use Taylor Swift’s “22” as my year-long anthem. Look on the positive side. 

• 21st Birthday
• childhood nostalgia
• young adulthood