It’s possible to be successful even when your brain tells you otherwise
As someone with somewhat-serious social anxiety, college has presented numerous new challenges for me and my mental health. I find that I have a very difficult time finding internships or jobs out of fear of beginning something new and making mistakes. I dislike joining student organizations without at least one friend, I’m hesitant to attend office hours because it makes me uncomfortable to talk with TAs and professors, I fail to reach out to friends as I need a lot of time to decompress alone and more. There’s no getting around it: college is one big social event, and your success often depends on your ability to talk to people, attend events and put yourself out there.
However, even though I still struggle with my anxiety daily, I have found certain ways to help get around this unavoidable obstacle. For one, I try to force myself out of my comfort zone as often as I can to get myself into the right mindset. For example, if I have free time to study, I try not to do so in my own room, but rather go out on campus and get accustomed to a social environment. Additionally, when other friends or classmates ask me to do something with them, I try my best to say yes–even if it makes me uncomfortable–as their presence is an extra push. Personally, I find that once I am in a social setting, I become far more comfortable and energized to do things I normally wouldn’t. It forces me to break outside of my own thoughts and see that it isn’t so bad to try new things or talk to new people, or just be around others at all.
Related to breaking out of that negative mindset, I try my best to take advantage of the good days or moments that I have. When I’m in a more energized or social mood, I’ll apply to a job, agree to hangout with my friends, schedule appointments or anything else to commit to the things I know I want but find trouble actually doing. Even though I might regret it right before I follow through, I find it pushes me to be much more productive and benefit in the long-run when I make commitments I have to fulfill.
But despite trying to be productive and pushing yourself to be uncomfortable, another crucial part of managing social anxiety is giving yourself breaks when needed. There are some days where simply being on campus, surrounded by people and noise, is too much for me. And that’s okay. It’s necessary to take time when you need to be alone and truly relax.
However, it is also important to remember how this might impact your relationships. If you often need time alone and are avoiding texts or other communications, it is important to be transparent with your friends and other loved ones about why. If they care about you, they’ll understand, but it will avoid hurting them or giving the impression you don’t care about your relationship. Social anxiety can make things difficult–even impossible, sometimes–to communicate effectively with loved ones, but it’s essential to maintain your support group in college.
All that being said, social anxiety can be a frustrating and debilitating feeling. Especially when it seems like everyone around you is moving forward by meeting new people, joining clubs and developing their professional careers. While this is not your fault, you also must try to take some control over your well-being and productivity wherever you can. It is uncomfortable and nerve-racking, but there are ways to overcome the fears you have step-by-step, while still allowing yourself grace to feel anxious. There’s no doubt that social anxiety makes college more difficult than it should be. It does not, however, make life impossible to navigate or make achieving success unthinkable as long as you take time to self-reflect and put in effort to make the most of your experience.