Thriving in college looks different for everyone
Big Ten universities are an extrovert’s playground; this isn’t breaking news. There’s always something to do, someone to see, and someplace to be. It’s a lot of fun. It’s also exhausting, especially if you’re more of an introvert. It’s true that we all have social batteries, but introverts may need to recharge theirs more than others.
I love spending time with people, going to different places, and new experiences, but at the end of the day I’m a homebody through and through. I’ve never done well in large groups, and while I enjoy going out with friends, I’m just as comfortable on my own. Sometimes this can turn into a pretty bad case of FOMO, but I’ve learned my boundaries and how to work around them. That’s not to say it can’t get difficult.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is when to say yes and when to say no. On days I feel like being social, I challenge myself to act on that desire, even if it’s not necessarily convenient. At the same time, when I’m feeling “off,” I’m fully off. When I’m having a day, it’s not uncommon for me to leave text messages unanswered or forget to like social media posts. Sometimes I feel bad about this, but managing the college social scene as a natural introvert means knowing my limits. It took me most of freshman year to accept this, but I eventually found my people. I absolutely love college, even if I don’t enjoy the party-bar scene the way others do.
I’ve also gotten pretty comfortable at being uncomfortable. Although I might be the first person to raise my hand in class, I’ll do anything to not be the center of attention. Dealing with some underlying social anxiety in group situations isn’t always ideal, so I’ve started recognizing when I’m uncomfortable and allowing myself to sit in that discomfort. In a way, this personal form of exposure therapy has been super helpful; it could even be simply taking a few deep breaths before I call to make a reservation or talk to a cashier at a store.
Applying these principles in practice, college has taught me to take calculated risks. It doesn’t surprise people to know that I considered myself a “goody two-shoes” in high school. My reserved, quiet nature sometimes manifests as risk aversion. However, after spending more time at college, the “no risk, no reward” mindset has influenced my ability to thrive on a lively campus like UW. By knowing both my limits and when I should push myself, I’ve been able to experience things I never would’ve dreamed of in high school. It’s in these moments that I come out of my shell.
I love college. I’ve made great friends and great memories, despite my worries of how I’d adapt to such a vivacious lifestyle. I knew being an introvert would make some social situations difficult, and the pandemic only solidified this. However, I’ve since found my introversion to be a strength. It helps me to prioritize what I need and have a deeper appreciation for the times when I engage in social activities. It’s important to note that I identify as an extroverted introvert, so I don’t speak for every introvert out there. At the same time, it’s more than possible to thrive in a college setting no matter your personality; it just requires you to figure out what works for you and to give yourself time. Four years of college flies by; be bold, but also take care of yourself.