What is really going on?
I’m feeling a little bit embarrassed about one of my more recent articles, which was essentially a roast of the relationship between A-listers Machine Gun Kelly (MGK) and Megan Fox. If you’ve been on social media recently, I’m sure you know why. They have gotten engaged, and are now happily celebrating their newlywed bliss for all to see. I feel bad for spewing all over what has turned out to be a very happy couple, but the transition from boyfriend and girlfriend to fiancé and fiancé has not stopped the commentary that we all know and love. Or has it? Read on to find out my new take on these two lovebirds, and the conspiracy that follows them.
Before we get into anything else, the first order of business must be taken care of. I’m of course referring to the engagement itself, which was filmed and posted to both the celebrities’ Instagram accounts. The camera work in this video is very odd, with a lot of cuts from differing angles that raised the question of how in the world she didn’t happen to notice and catch on. The video was captioned with a long and drawling paragraph from Fox, which includes the following:
“In July of 2020, we sat under this banyan tree. We asked for magic. We were oblivious to the pain we would face together in such a short, frenetic period of time.”
I have so many questions about this. What exactly does “asking for magic” entail? I’m very curious as to what exactly these two were doing under that banyan tree, but I bet it would be a lot more entertaining to watch than the actual engagement. Also, the second part?? I’m equally perplexed. What kind of horrible pain could possibly be experienced when you have that much status? Either these two are seriously dramatic (which is a valid conclusion), or they are into some seriously dark sh**. However, all of this pales in comparison to the final line of the announcement.
“And then we drank each other’s blood…”
There it is. The MGK and Megan Fox that we all know and love. What’s most frightening is the fact that I genuinely cannot decide if this was a joke or not. Honestly, I’m leaning toward the fact that it wasn’t.
Now that we have covered the most recent base of their relationship, there is a flip side of this whole thing that I need to point out. It’s really quite simple, and it’s essentially this: I just don’t know if I buy it. It feels like they are laying it on thick, and I’m just not totally convinced that there isn’t some kind of other motive behind this madness. Let’s not forget that this woman recently got out of her decade long marriage AND has three children. It’s such a drastic jump from there to here, that I theorize MGK may be more of a pawn in her midlife crisis than he is her soon-to-be husband. Disagree with me if you’d like, but Fox is clearly the ringmaster. Perhaps she felt lacking in her old marriage, and needs an outlet for her newfound “wild side.” Or maybe they both are simply feeding into the attention that they know they’re receiving. Crisis or no crisis, game or no game, I can’t help but think that something isn’t right.
Whatever the reason, the couple has done a phenomenal job of capturing the spotlight. Whether they will slow down or speed up, it’s hard to say. Whether it’s real or not is also hard to say. The cloud of confusion following Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly may never be lifted, but one thing is certain: If they ever have children, I give it a 50% chance that it comes out a vampire.