An open letter to all incoming freshmen, based on my experiences

To All Freshmen Badgers:
 
Welcome one, welcome all, to the first of your four (ish) years at UW-Madison. Congratulations on making it through those god-awful years of high school, full of lame football games and taffeta homecoming gowns, the likes of which you wore when you were seven years old. You have chosen a school that is worlds different than your high school experience, and to that I say, well done.
 
In order to help guide you through the next wonderful phase of your life, I decided to compose a beautifully-written letter with the do’s and don’t’s of life at UW. Please, dear Freshmen, follow along carefully.
 
First of all: Welcome Week is one of the most glorious, carefree times of your young life. Take advantage of the gorgeous summer weather, as in a few short weeks Madison will be an arctic tundra, and you will all but forget what it’s like to see Lake Mendota in an unfrozen state. Sit on the terrace and tan your heart out, and jump in the lake when you get too hot. Don’t worry about the murky brown lakewater, a little blue-green algae toxins are good for you. Go out every night and worry about getting enough sleep once classes actually start.
 
Secondly: You know that Jungle Juice you see sitting in a filthy bucket in the corner of that frat house? STAY AWAY—stay far, far away. Everything your mother has told you about drinking the punch at frat houses is true. There are copious amounts of alcohol etc. in that Jungle Juice, and it will make you throw up…even though it tastes strangely delicious.
 
Thirdly: Take all those BS classes that couldn’t possibly be offered at a school smaller than UW. Enroll in “Introduction to Buddhism” or “Ballroom Dancing,” just because you can and you have plenty of time before you have to declare your major.
 
Finally: Take advantage of where you are. Walk to the Capitol and explore the restaurants around there; wake up early on the weekends to go to the Farmer’s Market and buy the cheesy bread; go to every single football game and don’t you dare skip one because “you’re tired;” study at the Historical Society just because it’s pretty; walk all the way to Picnic Point and photograph the experience.
 
Peace, love and Badgerz,
Lindsey